How Much Do Parents Love And Sacrifice For Their Child?

Once upon a time there was a huge apple tree. A little boy used to come and play near the tree for many years, he would search for juicy apples, play alongside the tree and rest under the shade. The tree was so happy after meeting this little boy with bundle of joy.

One day the boy approach the tree with a sad face. The tree was surprised. "Come and play with me", the tree asked the boy. "I am no longer a kid to play around trees" the boy gave dirty look at the tree. "I want toys, I need money to buy them". "Sorry, I do not have money, but you can pick all my apples and sell them" replied the tree in a calm voice. The boy grab all the apples and left.

Spring has gone and autumn came by but there was no sign of the boy. One morning the tree saw it's friend, the little boy had grown up into a big man. "Come and play with me" the tree said. I can't play, I have a family now. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me? the man replied. "Sorry I do not have any house, but you can chop my branches to build your house". The man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see his friend smiling again.

The man returned one evening. "Come and play with me" the tree said. "I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?" said the man "Use my trunk to build your boat". He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

The man returned after many years. "Sorry my boy, but I do not have anything for you anymore. No more apples neither branches nor a trunk for you to climb on", the tree said with a pain in its voice. "No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite and I am too old to climb trees" the man replied. "I just need a place to rest after all these years". the man replied."Old tree roots are the best place to lean on, come sit down with me and rest". The man sat down, the tree was glad and smiled with tears.

THIS IS THE STORY OF EVERY PERSON.

THE TREE IS LIKE OUR PARENTS.

WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, WE COULD NOT

HAVE IMAGINED OUR LIFE WITHOUT THEM.

BUT AS WE GROW UP, WE LEAVE THEM.

NO MATTER WHAT, PARENTS WILL ALWAYS

BE THERE AND GIVE US EVERYTHING

TO MAKE US HAPPY.

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Why Do We Take Someone Else Advises And Not Our Parents?

This is a story of a guy who wants to start his own business or wants to invest in stock market. He just wants to quit his own job because he was tired of doing the same work over and over again. It all happens when suddenly one day a quote flashes on his screen.

The quote was from "CHARLES BUKOWSKI", Factotum, 1975. It was a very famous quote : 

"How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 am by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"

This quote made so much influence on his mind that from that day he could not concentrate on his job and had started analyzing on doing some business and also he was taking advises from people around. After doing so much searching and taking advises one day he finally decides to quit his job and start his own business or something else but not the job so that he can enjoy his own life and be grateful to the things going around and most importantly made lots of money for himself to enjoy life as well also give his parents life they might have dreamed about when they were young.

The guy started taking advises from different people. First of all he ask them to give their opinion on whether "They would like to do their own business or will they just continue doing the work for somebody else?" The responses he got for this question were quite interesting.

Someone told that "It is hard for them to start his own business. It requires financial security."

Someone told that "It takes courage to start the business and it might not end up well."

Someone told that "They don't have any knowledge in business then how is it possible for them to do so?"

Someone told that "They don't have financial background so that they can not even think of it."

Someone told that "What business should I start? I don't have any idea on what should I do."

These are some of the responses that he got from different people.

There is one common thing we can see from the responses that they are having lack of self confidence and also they are afraid to take the risk.

After taking their opinions he also take some advises from the people so that he might find some useful stuff and can utilize that in future. Now here is the main thing. The guy has taken advises from so many people but he didn't ask his parents who have also lived their life and may faces so many challenges. We can take advises from the people and also they will give but it is not sure that the advise they are giving is right or genuine. While if we ask from our parents then surely they will try their best to give us the proper advise and we can blindly believe it. We can blindly accept it and it is always genuine. So why do we take someone else advise when we can take the best advise from our parents?.

Lastly I would like to mention that our parents makes so many sacrifices for us. Sometimes we don't even know what they might have let go for themselves so that we can get the best or whatever we want. So, I think first we need to take advise from our parents and then we can also take other people's advise.

Thank you for reading this article. Kindly let us know what is your point of view and also share your experiences with us.

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A poetry on Narcisssim , for the Instagram loving generation. True Art against Likes.

Painter Performer Pleaser

A random thought...on who we are. The selfie loving generation...
We are so obsessed with our selves that we might even ask Charon for a Facebook feedback.
If art is used just as a medium of flattery it loses its value.
Never mind. This story is about Michael not Michelangelo.

A soulful painter who became a performer then just a flamboyant pleaser..



Painter Performer Pleaser

Rustic brushes unrefined art, puerile, yet a true heart.
Engraved on the cave walls, red, these colours sprawl.
His petroglyph tells the stories, of man and his glories.
Michael, the great recalls.

Came fame and fanatics, admirers if you would say,
They became his canvas, his soul was sold.
Cult and rage sublimed, yet the textures faded away,
The art ; cajoled.

Came his highness, a connoisseur.
Impressed he was with the artist.
So he jailed him as his courtier,
A sycophant; enslaved by an egotist.

The patrons left, came the pond,
Hubris or Nemesis we wouldn’t know.
Narcissus, for he drowned himself, he was fond,
Fond of his reflections on eau.

They say a flower bloomed, where he died,
Even heavens lamented, the loss of art.
He could have inspired, if he had tried.
Generations like Michelangelo at start. 

“Of all my great paintings and alluring portraits, what was my best?”
Asks Michael to Charon whilst he smiles and rows.
“Was it the one for the duke, or that painted damsel, in the land far west?”
He stops across Styx, then walks into a cave close.

Rustic brushes unrefined art, puerile, yet a true heart.
Engraved on the cave walls, red, his colours sprawled.
His best told the stories, of man and his glories.
Michael, the great now recalls….

15 Things you should do to be always happy in the life.

1  Give up your need to be always right.
·   Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?-Wayne Dyer

2. Give up your need for control.
·     By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.-Lao Tzu.
3.  Give up on BLAME.
4.   Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
·      The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly or wrongly. However it becomes very destructive.-Eckhart Tolle.
5.   Give up your limiting beliefs.
·      A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.
6.    Give up complaining.
7.    Give up the luxury of CRITICISM.
8.    Give up your need to impress others.
9.    Give up your resistance to change.
·       Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.
10.   Give up labels.
·        The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.-Wayne Dyer.
11.   Give up on your fears.
12.   Give up your excuses.
13.   Give up the past.
14.   Give up attachment.
15.   Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

Enjoying NOW!

I’ve just spent a couple of hours picking up emails, checking social media, and organizing my busy schedule.
Earlier, during my commute, I reflected on the morning so far, I thought about the day ahead, and I planned my To-Do List.
Until recently, this describes the way I generally lived my life. It was rare that I took the time to focus on the present moment and appreciate what I was doing or experiencing… until I started practicing mindfulness (members only).
When we develop mindfulness, we stop thinking about the past or the future, and we focus on the here and now. Studies show that this habit helps us improve our physical and emotional health, our relationships at home and at work, and our career.
So, how do you practice mindfulness? Find out in our article.

Dealing With Angry People

Posted by James Manktelow 

© iStockphoto/AZ68

None of us want to deal with angry people, and it’s upsetting to be the target of someone else’s fury – particularly if it isn’t justified!
This can lead us to reject the other person or get angry ourselves. Unfortunately, this can aggravate the situation, or, worse, leave us seeming to be the cause of the problem ourselves.
Read this article to learn how to deal with other people’s anger. This is an important life skill, and it’s one that you’ll often find useful.

How to Live The Sweet Life

Given a choice, wouldn’t you choose to live the sweet life instead of a bitter life? But how do we change our thinking such that life becomes sweet? This article takes a look at this topic of creating the sweet life using a simple analogy with candy flavors.
Think about this: 98% of the ingredients of a sweet orange skittle and a sour apple skittle are the same. Every single kind of skittle has the same sugar, corn syrup, and hydrogenated palm kernel oil.
Yet, even with 98% of the same ingredients, the experience of a mouthful of sweet orange skittles is totally different than the experience of a mouthful of sour apple skittles.
How? How can the experience of the sweet skittle be so different than the sour? The answer, of course, is the flavor that was added. The flavor makes all the difference.

Our lives, my friends, are EXACTLY the same. We all have much the same raw ingredients in our lives: things that go right, things that go wrong, people that make our lives a joy, and other people that don’t.
We all experience tears, joys, setbacks and victories. But what really makes the difference? It’s the flavor that we add to whatever we are experiencing, good or bad, moment by moment, which changes the resulting experience.
What do I mean? Right now, in this very moment, you are adding a flavor to your life, and that flavor, and not your circumstance, is determining whether you are experiencing a mouthful of sweet or a mouthful of sour.
Your mind has its own “flavor injector” working every moment of your life. Often it is working at a subconscious level, so you don’t even realize that you are adding flavor.
Are you with me yet? Let’s take a look at some flavors, both sweet and sour, and ask yourself which ones your flavor injector is using…

1. Optimism

Our first flavor is optimism. Honestly, when we are experiencing something, we often don’t know for certain whether it will turn out to be “good” or “bad.” So if we don’t know for certain, what will we “flavor” the experience with?
I remember thirteen years ago when the senior partner where I worked abruptly told me he wanted me to leave. I could have added pessimism, disappointment, or despair as flavors to that news, but somehow I knew God was in control, even though I had no idea how.
So I added a heaping spoon of optimism with a dash of trust, and within two weeks I had a new job at higher pay and the opportunity to move 30 minutes closer to our church, all without having to lift a finger. The flavor of optimism paid off.

2. Growth & Expansion

Another great flavor to the sweet life is growth or expansion versus stagnation or contraction. When you see a challenge up ahead, do you flavor it up as an opportunity to grow, or does it become a sour obstacle that will keep you from moving?
When you have multiple options before you, do you naturally gravitate towards what will stretch and stimulate you, or what you think will keep you safe? Which flavor do you think will serve you best in the end?

3. Freedom

Speaking about options, what about the flavor of freedom? Do you always see the possibilities, and relish your ability to choose what is best for you, or do you focus on what you can’t do, or find yourself in chains of compulsion or addiction?
The flavor of freedom is absolutely essential to a well-lived life. If you don’t see your life as yours to direct and create, then you will inevitably find yourself in a prison of your own making someday.

4. Joy

Does the flavor of joy permeate your day? When you’re stuck in traffic, when you’ve just landed that client, when you’re fixing dinner, does joy seem to keep bubbling up?
You can say “I’m just not that kind of person, John” and you may be right, but that doesn’t mean you have to STAY the kind of person you are now.
You have the capacity to change your thought habits, to reprogram what flavors you automatically reach for. Whether it’s a gratitude practice, prayer, uplifting music, or some other exercise, you can change.

5. Love

Above all, the biggest flavor to the sweet life is a jar labeled LOVE. The Apostle John said that it was the essence of both God and all his children, Jesus said it was the most important commandment, and even the theologian Paul devoted one of the most quoted chapters in the Bible to it.
There is nothing, nothing, nothing like love. It is a flavor that no moment should be without.
–
Today, as you think and work and talk, step back and notice the flavors that you are adding to your life. Note how many are sweet, and how many are sour, and what a pivotal role they really do play.
What kind of a life do you want to create? A sweet life or a sour one? The choice is up to you, as the creation of that life is in your hands.

Finding Happiness

It was a Thursday night in July of 1996 when my quest for finding happiness began. I was sitting on the floor of my luxury apartment doing paperwork when it hit me that the path I was on was not the path for me.
I was twenty-five, wealthy (six figures in the bank) and had achieved every single material goal I ever wanted. I literally thought I had it all. My closets were filled with designer clothes and fancy shoes. My bathroom cabinets were filled with luxury cosmetics. Everything was great except for two things: I was miserable and I felt empty.

My childhood and teenage years were very tough and so I channeled all my pain into pursuing success. I thought, at the time, that if I achieved all my material goals, I would be in bliss. I worked very hard and was able to achieve every goal I set. But I started to notice that with each goal achieved, I was happy but it was temporary. I wanted ever lasting happiness and thought that the next goal would bring me that happiness. The irony is that with each goal achieved, I felt more and more miserable.
What made things even tougher was that to the outside world, I had it all so I could not express my pain to anyone out of fear that it would look like I was being ungrateful for my abundance. I was grateful but yet deep inside of me something just felt off.

The Start of My Journey to Happiness

So on that fateful July night, I decided that I would do whatever it would take to find happiness. The emptiness and the misery scared me and I did not want the rest of my life to be a continuation of that misery. Little did I know what life had in store for me.
A few months later, Buddhism entered my life and my world started to unravel. Discovering meditation was amazing and I felt that I had found the path that would help me to find what I was seeking. My hunch was correct because learning about meditation opened my eyes to a brand new way of looking at life.
I devoured spiritual books. I quit my job and started to travel the world. Within five years time, my luxury life was history. I no longer lived in a fancy apartment. My clothes and possessions were all donated. All I had was one suitcase with some clothes and some books along with a passport that proved I had circled the globe at least twice.
It was around this time that a wise monk crossed my path and gave me a chance to be initiated into one of the high Orders in India. I took the opportunity and fell in love with what I learned. My love for the teachings of Vedanta were so strong, I almost took final vows as a nun but decided not to because I was not ready to give up on the idea of sharing my life with a man. So I left the monastic path and re-entered the world. It was tough because the monastic world was just so beautiful and the modern world seemed to be full of pain. However, I continued on my quest for happiness.
A year later, I met my husband and that began the wonderful journey of marriage. I was still searching for happiness and one thing led to another and my husband and I found ourselves living in India for six months. It was one the best times of my life although it was a very emotional time for me because more and more of my family and friends were leaving my life.
When you go from being rich to being “poor”, not everyone gets that especially if you do it voluntarily. People think you are crazy and they think that eventually you will come to your senses. I apparently, to my friends and some relatives, did not come to my senses, so people started to leave and it was painful. My reputation was dragged through the mud. Numerous insults were hurled my way and even one uncle disowned me.
Despite the pain, I knew I was on the right path and was determined to find out all that I could about happiness. Once we were back home in America, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and we moved in with my parents so that I could take care of my mother during the last six months of her life.
I was by her side when she passed on and that was a huge teacher. It showed me that all we take with us when we go is how we lived our lives. All the material possessions stay behind. My mother’s passing just made me more determined to love life and to find happiness.

A Shift in Finding Happiness

In September of 2010, strange things began to happen and it all started with a question my husband asked me. We were talking about goals and I realized that I no longer had any. For a former “Type A” like myself, such a sentence is totally out of character. How can I not have goals? It was very weird to hear myself say those words.
Even though I am a very positive person, my immediate reaction was that I was on the verge of dying because how can you go through life without goals? Was something wrong with me?
To complicate matters, I found myself not enjoying the things I used to enjoy. I used to read spiritual books and found myself not really learning anything new in the books that I was reading. The books were great but it was like reading the same material over and over again. It was getting to be boring.
This only made me more concerned because for the last thirteen years, that is all that I read and loved. What was happening to me? I had no clue. All I knew is that I no longer felt the way that I used to feel and it scared me because it was so different. Blogging became boring because I had no desire to write about the same things that I used to write about because the subjects no longer interested me.
I was having a huge identity crisis but I had no idea why. All I knew was that I truly felt happy. There was no sense of longing for happiness and that one realization made me see that the quest I had been on since July of 1996 was finally over. You would think this would have made me even happier but all it did was scare me.
Why did it scare me? Well…when you spend every cent you have and so much time on a goal—Like finding happiness–you never really think about the time when you actually achieve that goal. In my quest for happiness, I never imagined what would happen if I found the answers that I was looking for because it seemed so far-fetched.
Even more interesting was the fact that happiness looked so different from what I thought it would look like. For example, I still have days where I am cranky and my ego is in full control of my senses. I have days where all I want to do is stay in bed and not deal with the world. I have days when I am so full of joy, I could explode from the immensity of it. I have days where I cry at the pain that I see. I have days where I wonder if my quest was worth it since I spent every cent I had.
Yet despite all of those days, deep in my heart I know what life is all about and that brings me peace. I no longer question what is the meaning and purpose of life. I know what my purpose as a human being is and I strive to meet that purpose every day. Some days I hit the mark and other days I don’t.
You see…you and I are here because sometime ago we forget who we truly are at our core. We get so caught up in the illusion of life, we forget our inherent Divinity. We all have the ability to have lives we love and to be happy; we just need to see the illusions for what they are.
Your worth as a human being has nothing to do with how much money you have or the degrees or any other material item you think you own. You don’t own anything except for how you live. When you pass on, the cars, the money and all the things you own will not go with you. They will stay behind.
Your worth is determined by one thing and one thing only: how much love have you given to life? Have you brought joy to others or just misery? I wish I could tell you that I have only brought joy to others but I have not. I have done things which have hurt people but I vowed to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. Sometimes it is easy and other times it is hard.
As I realized that my quest had come to an end, I did not know how to proceed with my life and so I took a three month hiatus from being online. It was very apparent that I could not write anything since a new writing voice was starting to emerge. It hit me that I needed to just be present in what was happening and just be.
For an active person like myself, standing still is like pulling teeth. I don’t love it but I knew that I needed to stand still in order to figure out what to do next. So I spent those three months reading, watching movies, traveling and a whole lot of introspection.

Clarity, At Last

By the end of December, a goal began to reveal itself and it was unlike any other goal I ever had. Most of us have goals that are rooted in personal gain. Our goals reflect our desires. The irony about life is that we focus so much on the end result, we lose sight of the fact that the journey is what matters.
Your experience of life is dependent on how you are present in life. Here in the West, we focus so much on doing that we neglect being. Being present in the moment is what determines your life. Are you present? Are you having fun being you? Do you love yourself?
If you are not having fun and if you don’t love yourself, then something has got to change. It is like the old Buddhist joke about a monk who passes away and discovers that the ancient text did not say celibate as he thought but rather it said celebrate.
So celebrate being you and being alive. Enjoy the journey. If you have goals, go for them but realize that the goals do not define who you are. How you go about your day says more about you than what you achieve. How you treat a stranger says more about you than how much money you have in the bank.
Where am I now in my life? Well…with all of these realizations, I decided to shut down my business because it no longer reflects the person that I am now. So I find myself starting a whole new phase and chapter in my journey (Hint: Think Simple Now will be my new home to document this journey).
A new writing voice is emerging as well which I am still honing. All I know is that I am happy and that I just want to do what I can to make other people realize how awesome they truly are. Finding happiness, in the end lead me to a place of service and shifting focus away from myself—for when we give, we truly receive. Amazing.

The Fastest Path to Happiness

Happiness belongs to those who are easily contented.~Aristotle
Here’s a gentle reminder that Happiness is a state within us. It is a chemical reaction based on where we put our focus, and from which perspective we choose to experience the world.
We are the ones who hold the key to lasting happiness. And we are the only ones who can deprive ourselves of the happiness that we all desire and deserve.
Sometimes, all it takes is a whisper of gratitude, to draw our focus back to our hearts and away from the discontentment and negativity that our minds are naturally attracted to.
This past Christmas, I took on the responsibility of cooking for our extended family. And when I was in the kitchen, preparing the food, I found my mind wandering off, thinking about negative things, thinking about things to complain about, thinking about certain people who made me upset.

I caught myself doing it, and was alarmed by the negative feeling it drew into my inner space.
And then I started to consciously redirect my attention towards being thankful. It was like a game.
As I was chopping vegetables, I would say –sometimes verbally- “I am so thankful that I have the resources to buy vegetables. I am so thankful for this knife, without it would be difficult to cut vegetables.” Standing at the sink, I would say, “I am so thankful that I have water. I am so thankful for this beautiful sink. It’s so useful and cool looking.”
Going to the fridge to get the ingredients for the next thing I was cooking, I’d say, “I am so thankful I have a fridge. I am so thankful for the fridge full of food.” Standing over the stove, “I am so thankful for this pot. I am so thankful for the beautiful gas stove, it has provided so much for our family’s needs. I love that it’s stainless steel and black.”
When I dropped something on the floor, as I picked it up, I would admire the beautiful wood floor, which we never take the time to appreciate, “I am so thankful for the wood floor, I love the red tint it reflects.” And as I am saying this, I would be reminded, “I am so thankful for this house. A house with all the characteristics we once dreamed about, and it became a reality. Thank you Universe for always watching out for my needs and always fulfilling my dreams.”.
This went on for some time.
At first, it felt fake and forceful, but slowly, the feeling of love and warmth over took me, and the whole experience of cooking became a dance with the flow of life; a pleasant experience; a meditation.
I became lost in the presence of that blissful hour, in the kitchen, lost in the abundance of each moment, with overflowing love.
It doesn’t take a lot to get you started on the path of being thankful.
Gratitude is the fast track to contentment, and contentment for our present life situation, contentment of this moment regardless of what is in front of us is the key to happiness. Simple.
Next time you find your mind wandering off to the land of discontentment, complaining, or negative thoughts, don’t give yourself a hard time. Instead, try the simple method above of giving thanks, to those things you are immediately interacting with.

A Wonderful Story of Parenting & Happiness

Photo by Sara Lando

I’ve been feeling pretty scattered lately. I think it’s because it’s been 3 weeks since I had quality alone time, and somehow in that time, taking care of myself slipped to the bottom of my priority list, again.

Yes, I know it’s important. At least in theory: taking care of myself will benefit everyone around me, and not doing so will hurt the same people I love. But when things get busy, as they always do, something has to give.

I yelled at Ryan today. At the top of my lungs, I asked, “What do you need from me?? What do you want?” No matter what I did, the boy just kept crying, at the top of his lungs. And by raising my voice I made it even worse. I just lost it. Lost in the noise of my own mind, blinded by frustration. Anger overcame my better judgment.

The look of horror on Ryan’s face is now imprinted on my memory, and I silently whispered a prayer that it isn’t imprinted on his.

When I picked him up, heavy tears rolled down his tiny face. And with the momentum of lifting him up, a few large drops landed on the edge of my mouth. They tasted salty, and at that instant, I felt a pang of sharp pain shooting through my body – pain from the sad realization that I had caused those tears.

I felt like a horrible parent. I felt like a horrible person. After Jeremy came home from work, I told him about it, and the look of disappointment on his face caused me to feel like I needed to be locked away in a dark room and have the keys be thrown away.

It was a pretty rough day. I felt defeated.

Jeremy said, – perhaps taking pity in me – that things like this happen all the time (to other people). I want to believe him, but I’m not sure. I think it’s me. I think I have anger/patience issues that I need to address and overcome.

From where I’m standing, every other parent seems to have it together. I see many new mothers who have the whole parenting thing together – they are not only patient, and make their own baby food, but also manage to take their babies to early education classes, bake for their family, and keep a perfectly organized household.

And then I look at myself: a baby-food-buying “horrible” parent who looses her temper. And our home is so messy that it looks like it’s been hit by a level 4 tornado.

It’s so easy to pick on ourselves when we are feeling bad.

Perhaps, Jeremy is right, that behind the closed door of every household, we aren’t as together as we let the world believe – an idealistic image of perfection and ever-flowing happiness. And only in the privacy of our own mind, do we silently hope that others won’t find out – that we’re not as perfect or happy as the pictures of our smiling faces portray.

I sighed, and thought, “motherhood is hard.”

And then I heard a voice in my heart say, “So what? That’s life! No one said it was gonna be an easy ride? You are creating the horrible experience by your thoughts and by your lack of awareness. You can change this!”

Yes! Yes, I can! I can’t change the situation, but I can change, through consistent practice, my reaction to things. You know how the saying goes: you can’t change the wind, but you can adjust the sail. I love that!

Through my own observation, I realized that no matter how beautiful you are, or how wealthy you are, or how successful you are, we all have one thing (of many) in common, and that is, we all have problems (relationship, stress and insecurities are the most common ones I’ve seen.).

My point is we should stop blaming our problems on a lack of something we think we should have (ie. beauty, money, smarts, etc.). Encountering problems is inherent to being human, and part of having the human experience.

The underlying story may be different, but we all have our unique challenges, and we either learn from them and move on, or get stuck and allow the pain to sting a little.

That’s what life is – a constant unfolding of events and challenges that defines our experiences. How we choose to perceive these experiences is up to us. How we choose to welcome or resist the challenges is also up to us.

We, essentially, shape our future, by the decisions we make right now. Regardless of what happened in the past moment, regardless of the ‘mistakes’ we’ve made, the future is always fresh, and the power lies in the Now – where we get to decide how we will direct the path of our future.

Regret and self-pity will only keep us stuck in the past. And only we have the power, to keep ourselves stuck in the unhappiness of our problems.

After Ryan went to bed for the night, Jeremy and I talked about our options, and drilled into why it happened. The results were fruitful and plenty.

And if you’re curious, my biggest take away from that conversation is that I am trying to do too much when watching my son. I am dividing my attention between trying to be productive with house chores and my businesses, and fulfilling the needs of a very active (and very curious) 10 month old.

It just doesn’t work, and it is a conflict. A young child is sensitive enough to pick up on the energy that he doesn’t have your full attention, and will do what it takes to get your attention. At this tender age, it is important that he feels engaged, talked to, played with, read to, and not ignored – because mommy is busy with something else.

Jeremy also reminded me of how lucky we are that I have the option to stay at home and witness our little baby grow into a boy. And that this period of demanding infancy is short lived, and once it’s over, we’ll look back regretting that we didn’t appreciate how beautiful and sacred this period was.

With tears welling up in my eyes, I agreed. We are so lucky to have such a healthy and happy baby boy. And yes, I do take things for granted, and I appreciate the reminder for giving gratitude for the countless blessings in my life.

Next time I feel anger, or find myself at the tip of frustration, before loosing my cool I will do 3 things:

1. Close my eyes and take a deep breath.
2. Give gratitude that I have such a healthy and precious baby boy.
3. Dwell on his innocence. Meditate on his cuteness and purity. Connect with him. In other words, being mindful around him, and appreciating the beautiful moments we have in the Now.

Most importantly, I vow to never yell at him again. I vow to change. I want to change. I want to be a better person… to be a better mom… to become a better role model for my little man.

If he is someone who I would easily give my life for, then I sure as heck can change to become a better person for him. My behavior and reactions to the external are a matter of habits, and a habit can be changed. It’s a matter of decision and commitment.

Today, I’ve decided to change. Today, I am committed to becoming a more patient and dedicated parent.

Along the way, I know I will make mistakes. And when I do, I will be kind to myself. I will accept myself for who I am right now, and know that I am on a pathway of awakening, riding through the challenges and overcoming emotional habits that are not conducive to the wellbeing of my family – who mean the world to me.

This morning (5 days later), while feeding Ryan his breakfast of yogurt and breast milk, in his playful mumbling, I vaguely heard “mama” snuggled in between the “baba” sounds. In that moment, time froze, and I felt as though my heart skipped a beat.

“Ahh, This is what happiness is all about. The simple moments where miracles happen that change you forever.”, I thought.

I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry. I think I did both.

—

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Wonderful Art of Happiness for Joyful Life.

Photo of Gala Darling by Chloe

One of the toughest challenges to being a new parent is the realization of how little free time you actually have.

During the first few weeks of Ryan’s arrival at home, my day would consist of diaper changes, feeding, burping, breast pumping, holding, rocking, shushing – and the cycle repeats itself until my husband comes home. On many days, finding time for a shower becomes a challenge in itself.

And if I’m lucky, when he’s napping, I’ll have an hour or two to run to the bathroom, wash all my breast pump parts and get something to eat. On my most productive days, my accomplishments include getting the dishes done, or a trip to the grocery store.

This has been my life for the past six months. And what I described above is only a small portion of the challenges we’ve face. Other challenges include sleep deprivation, maintaining romantic relationships, and colic (3+ hours of non-stop crying every evening for several weeks).

What I realized is that we as a society really don’t give enough credit to the fulltime moms and dads in the world. It is really one of the toughest things one could experience, yet, it is one of those things we can’t anticipate or truly understand until we’re going through it.

Because my hands are constantly full (literally), I am behind on everything else, like cleaning the house, doing laundry, answering email and what feels like an endless list of action items.

Now that Ryan is a little bit older, whenever he is not eating or napping, I find myself putting him down on a playmat or swing, almost habitually, so I can catch up and get more things done. But in doing so, I wasn’t really participating with him when he was awake.

Ryan at 5 months. See more photos on facebook.

My mind felt noisy, cluttered and frazzled. I felt as if I was drowning in a sea of todos… ahhhh!!!!!!

One day a few weeks ago, as I was rushing to getting some work done on the computer, I heard Ryan making these ridiculously adorable sounds with his mouth as he lay on a blanket next to my desk.

I tried to ignore it, so I could finish what I was doing, but then in that moment, I realized that I was missing out on being with my baby and witnessing the precious developmental moments. I turned off the computer and started playing with Ryan with all my attention.

I realized that I had allowed the list of action items to dictate how I was living my life. I became so focused on getting things done, that I was no longer focused on being with my baby son, even though he is with me physically.

I realized that work will always be there, and that it is never ending if I allow it to be. I realized that my own happiness and spending time being with my family are the most important priorities. And now, I choose to be with my son, to give him my full attention, to witness the pure bliss that babies radiate. Everything else can wait.

It’s like when we’re busy being busy, we miss the beautiful details of our life, and we take for granted the things that mean the most to us.

If today was the last day of your life, would you be doing what you’ve been so busy trying to get done? Or would you be spending deliciously intimate time with the people you loved? Or doing something so satisfying for your soul that you know in your heart that life was meant to be joyful.

The Direct Route to Happiness

It’s easy to get caught up with the never ending todo lists, or the demands of other people wanting your time, or the guilt of things you think you “should” be doing.

But if we take a moment to slow down, to reflect, to clear our minds, we will realize that many of the things we do, and many of the things that seemingly cause us stress do not add any value to our wellbeing.

At the end of the day, ask yourself, “What do I want?” and the answer is likely a derivative of “I want to be happy.”

So instead of being busy, instead of doing, instead of rushing to get there, just decide to be happy, right Now!

Make the feeling of Joy and Happiness your primary focus as you walk through your day, regardless of what you are doing.

Focus on things that make you feel good. Focus on the goodness and blessings in your life. Look for things to be appreciative of, and mentally point out all that you are thankful for in any moment.

If you catch yourself feeling stressed out or overwhelmed, stop what you are doing and (optionally) close your eyes. Take a few deep breathes – fully inhale and slowly exhale – and ask yourself, “I want to feel good. What can I do right now to feel good?” and focus on feeling good and follow your inner voice.

The other day, I felt distracted and pressured, and then I asked myself what I wanted to do at that moment, and my inner voice said to play the song Sweet Lullaby by Deep Forest. For me, the song represents hope, inspiration and adventure.

I instantly felt upbeat and started dancing to its tunes in my office. A sense of relief washed over me physically and calmed my emotional being. I felt refreshed right away. In that moment, I came away with the following realization:

“Stop doing what you think you should be doing.

Do what you want to do, do what makes you feel good,

do what you feel inspired to do.

Remember that in your world, you make up the rules.

Stress is optional.”

~ Tina Su

… So, this is our new motto.

Try it out.

Let me know how it works for you.

* What do you think? Let us know your thoughts in the comment section below. See you there!

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