Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Incredible Thing That Determination Can Do. The Power of Determination.



The little country schoolhouse was heated by an old-fashioned, pot-bellied coal stove. A little boy had the job of coming to school early each day to start the fire and warm the room before his teacher and his classmates arrived.

One morning they arrived to find the schoolhouse engulfed in flames. They dragged the unconscious little boy out of the flaming building more deadly than alive. He had major bums over the lower half of his body and was taken to a nearby county hospital.

From his bed the dreadfully burned, semi-conscious little boy faintly heard the doctor talking to his mother. The doctor told his mother that her son would surely die — which was for the best, really — for the terrible fire had devastated the lower half of his body.

But the brave boy didn’t want to die. He made up his mind that he would survive. Somehow, to the amazement of the physician, he did survive. When the mortal danger was past, he again heard the doctor and his mother speaking quietly. The mother was told that since the fire had destroyed so much flesh in the lower part of his body, it would almost be better if he had died, since he was doomed to be a lifetime cripple with no use at all of his lower limbs.

Once more the brave boy made up his mind. He would not be a cripple. He would walk. But unfortunately from the waist down, he had no motor ability. His thin legs just dangled there, all but lifeless.

Ultimately he was released from the hospital. Every day his mother would massage his little legs, but there was no feeling, no control, nothing. Yet his determination that he would walk was as strong as ever.

When he wasn’t in bed, he was confined to a wheelchair. One sunny day his mother wheeled him out into the yard to get some fresh air. This day, instead of sitting there, he threw himself from the chair. He pulled himself across the grass, dragging his legs behind him.

He worked his way to the white picket fence bordering their lot. With great effort, he raised himself up on the fence. Then, stake by stake, he began dragging himself along the fence, resolved that he would walk. He started to do this every day until he wore a smooth path all around the yard beside the fence. There was nothing he wanted more than to develop life in those legs.

Ultimately through his daily massages, his iron persistence and his resolute determination, he did develop the ability to stand up, then to walk haltingly, then to walk by himself — and then — to run.
He began to walk to school, then to run to school, to run for the sheer joy of running Later in college he made the track team.

Still later in Madison Square Garden this young man who was not expected to survive, who would surely never walk, who could never hope to run — this determined young man, Dr. Glenn Cunningham, ran the world’s fastest mile**!

Story Told By Burt Dubin,
Developer of Speaking Success System.

•0n June 16, 1934, Glenn Cunningham ran the mile in 4:06.8 minutes, breaking the world’s record. His effort portrays that whatever you want to create in your life is yours for the making. As long as you desire it enough and allow your will to guide you, you can have and be whatever your heart desires. The only one that can put limits on our personal will is ourselves Develop and encourages your will to create and all the forces of nature within and without will help you bring your desire to pass.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

The Wooden Bowl : Impact of Parents on their Child.

www.aatyaik.com

           A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth.

          The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about Grandfather,” said the son, I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather’s direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

          One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow upon The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

          Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day those building blocks are being laid for the child’s future. Let us all be wise builders and role models. Take care of yourself, and those you love, today, and every day!

Friday, November 06, 2015

At Peace

Expert Author Tami R Principe

A simple phrase, but sometimes it is very hard to maintain. Peace is a state of mind, of simply being. Somedays it is hard to reach that harmony with mind, body and spirit to simply be at peace. Think about it for a moment. For the mind not to worry or be stressed, the soul to be in complete harmony and your body not to feel unrest, now that it hard to attain, but it is attainable. You just have to figure out what works for you and what doesn't, that takes time and dedication for you to tune into yourself.

Usually it starts with something someone has tried and it works for them and they tell you about it, let's say a new diet plan. It is about acquired taste and if it is the right diet plan for your body. The same goes for a particular exercise that might work for someone else but not for your body. There could also be a certain type of relaxation exercise that works for someone but not for you.

Be at peace with who you are and what your capabilities are. Sure, you will constantly and consistently test those boundaries but you will come out feeling more content with who you are.

You can acquire peace just by knowing the right foods that agree with your body, the right exercise and the right relaxation methods that nurture your mind, body and spirit. You have to be willing to try new methods. Yoga might not work for you but maybe Tai Chi will. Be open and willing to try new things. You might find something that you really love doing.

When you reach the stage of peace and blissfulness, you will see in others how much they need it and how the unrest spills over to all areas of their life. You can only control you, but you can have a strong, inspiring and encouraging effect on others as well.

When you have reached a state of peacefulness within, you realize that moments are precious and you live them to the fullest without any regrets. You will realize that you are perfect, that reflection of you in the mirror is perfect and you accept it with any and all flaws that your mind dwells up. Sure, you can change your appearance, but it is what lies in your soul that makes up who you truly are. You can't change the world, but you can change you. Once that happens, you can see the world around you change, people and situations will change. You will see and act more clearly when you are at peace.

I am at total peace with death. When my time comes I hope that others rejoice in my life and not mourn my death. When others around me transition from life, I know how blessed I was to have them in my life and I would celebrate their life by rejoicing and remembering just how special they were to me. That feeling will never fade through time as they will always remain in my heart.

I am lucky and I am blessed, I acknowledge that every day when I awake in the morning. I appreciate all things great and small. I greet everyone with a smile. Life is too short to live otherwise. May you find and keep peace in who you are and in everything you do.

About the Author:
My name is Tami Principe. I am a Motivational Speaker, Author, Blogger, Radio Talk Show Host, and a Breast Cancer Survivor. I am the author of four books, "Walk in Peace," & "My Soulful Journey," & "The Wishing Well," and "The Green Rabbit."

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9214913

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Steps To A Wealthy Mindset

Expert Author Victor E. Garcia
Victor E. Garcia
1. Redefine What Wealth Means for You.

Being "rich" simply is a term for many people. Technically, wealth or being wealthy is defined as having an abundance of resources or possessions. The high life does not equal wealth. Having a gigantic mortgage for a beautiful home or a huge car payment does not equal wealth.

Are status symbols your end goal? Does wealth for you mean that ability not to worry about bills or how much is left in your checking account at the end of the month? Does it mean providing comfortably for your family or being free from financial worry?

Does it mean the ability to afford luxury designer goods or getting a membership to the local country club? Being rich or being wealthy can also mean you enjoy a comfortable retirement. Maybe to you wealth means something totally different.

Your definition of wealth goes a long way towards setting your goals.

2. Learn To Hold Off Gratification

In today's culture everyone expects instant gratification, we all wants things NOW NOW NOW.

However, a wealthy person knows how to delay gratification and sacrifice the now for later. This often comes with a positive attitude towards work and wealth, such as: "If I invest now, I will make 30% more later."

The wealthy do not only think of now, they plan for the future. Long-term thinking over short-term. The present is merely an opportunity.

Change your mentality about spending. Do you really have to have that (place object here) now? The truly rich hold off gratification, knowing that what is trendy, popular or a must have today may not last until tomorrow.

3. Learn the difference between having a high income and being truly wealthy.

High incomes do not necessarily mean that you are rich, especially if this income comes from only one source.

The myth persists that you can only be truly wealthy if you come into family money or are born into a home of silver spoons, silk sheets and antique furniture. Continue to believe in this myth, and you still have the mindset of the broke.

Most people also believe that a high income job is the end-all of their problems and work their butts off to get to a position that pays in five or six digits but end up baffled at how little they have by the time retirement rolls around.

For example, the average high level manager earns $200,000 a year, with benefits but stands to lose that income in the event of layoffs or illness.

Although his income earning potential is high, it only comes from one source.

Contrast that with a middle level manager earning $50,000 a year. This middle manager, however, rents out properties in the city for another $500,000 and reaps dividends from stocks and bonds for another $100,000 a year. In the event of illness, death or mass layoffs, half of his earning potential is still secure.

The source of the latter's income is also easily passed on to future generations, securing wealth for the middle level manager's family.

4. If you're starting a business know when to hold off, reassess and quit.

Investors will say no to your idea, but not all of them.

Those with a poor mindset go to the bank for a loan, get rejected and never think about their idea or opportunity again. The wealthy mindset goes to the bank for a loan, gets rejected, redrafts the proposal and returns to get the approval.

The poor mindset goes into business not knowing the risks of the deal and is baffled when the fallout occurs. The wealthy mindset goes into a deal, knows the risk and gets out if things are going bad.

Always follow your gut and do your research. Know when to back off from risky or unethical deals will not only take your money but have effects of your freedom.

5. Use Your Subconscious to Manifest Your Financial Destiny

The wealthy know that before you can be physically wealthy, your mind must be thinking wealthy too.

Create dream posters by cutting out pictures of your dream status or quotes that inspire you.

Never underestimate the power of your will and mind.

Wealthy people never say they cannot do it, they think of ways so that they can. Instead of thinking "I can't afford that", think to yourself "HOW can I afford that?"

Write down 10 things you want when you're wealthy every morning right after you wake up. The key part is to write them in the present tense, "I have... ".

The act of physically writing this list and seeing your dreams in black and white will engrave your desires into your subconscious and motivate you to take action towards them every day.

The truly wealthy consider their mind as the foremost asset. They also tend to invest in their mind, especially when it comes to education. Visualize yourself to be the millionaire, entrepreneur and successful person you want to be.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

According To This World Bank's Report Gujarat And Andhra Pradesh Are India's Best Places For Business.

Gujarat, the state Prime Minister Narendra Modi ran for more than a decade, is India's best place for conducting business, the World Bank said on Monday, in a report that ranks the country's states in an effort to encourage them to cut red tape.

Gujarat: best place for conducting business

Gujarat
"The growth of business in India requires concerted action on several fronts - infrastructure, capital markets, trade facilitation and skills," said Onno Ruhl, the World Bank's India director. "The stark reality is that India remains a difficult place to do business."

The effort is part of the government's initiatives to improve India's position on the World Bank's 'Ease of Doing Business' ranking. India is 142nd on he list of 189 countries. The government wants India to breaking into the top 50 at the earliest. It expects to make it to the top 100 in the next ranking.  States were given six months to improve business environment based on 98 parameters in December, after the Department of Industrial Policy and Promotion (DIPP) got states on board for this initiative. DIPP then collected data on the steps implemented, asking 285 questions to all states and union territories in June this year. The information was reviewed by KPMG and World Bank for the final assessment of states.

Monday's report suggested that such steps as offering single-window clearances for administrative approvals, if followed by all states, could improve India's global ranking.

Reforms have changed how India does business 

It said that states -- including the top five, Gujarat, Andhra Pradesh, Jharkhand, Chhattisgarh and Madhya Pradesh -- had implemented reforms in online tax payments, construction, permits, electricity connections and environmental clearances in a specified time.

Rajasthan – sixth among 29 states

However, the states should set up electronic courts, and reforms relating to labour laws, land allotment and property registrations, the report said. "This is a defining moment for Rajasthan because improving our ease of doing business directly accelerates job creation for our youth," said Vasundhara Raje, the chief minister of Rajasthan. The state was ranked sixth among 29 states. Modi's government has taken several pro-business steps, such as rolling back plans to tax foreign companies and allowing them to invest more in insurance, defence, banks and other sectors.

Gujarat topped the list with a score of 71.14 percent

How are India's 32 states and union territories ranked?
The key parameters include:
1. Setting up of business
2. allotment of land
3. labour reforms 
4. procedure for environmental clearance.

The North East is at the bottom

Arunachal Pradesh fares the worst, followed by Nagaland, Meghalaya, Mizoram, Sikkim, Tripura and Assam. Then there's J&K, Andaman and Nicobar Islands, Chandigarh and Uttarakhand.

Punjab is best for setting up a business

punjab

Punjab leads all other business friendly states. "Remarkably, Punjab is the only State in which the single window system allows application for all of the licenses studied in this assessment, although some others come very close," the report says. 

Gujarat leads environmental procedure compliance

Gujarat scores a whopping 100% for environmental compliance, followed by Andhra Pradesh (85.19 percent score).

Jharkhand leads India's labour regulation compliance


jharkhand

"Jharkhand’s Labour Department is the only one in the country to score 100% on all four parameters studied in this assessment across all 7 processes. Andhra Pradesh also deserves a mention as the Labour Department provides clear information, timelines and online solutions, but lack downloadable and verifiable certificates," the report said

Maharashtra is best for securing infrastructure

maharashtra
infrastructure utilities are easiest sourced in Maharashtra (88.89%) followed by Gujarat (75%) 
Gujarat led business environmental inspections
environmental procedures
Inspections under the Water Act and the Air Act saw Gujarat come out first. "The only other State that has implemented computerised risk assessment for environmental inspections is Maharashtra," the report said. 
Dispute resolution: Delhi and Maharashtra are doing something about it
"Only 2 States – Delhi and Maharashtra – have introduced specialized commercial courts, and only Gujarat has made available model contract templates and guidelines on the department website." The leader? Maharashtra  at 55.56%.
(Inputs from Reuters, The Economic Times and Kunal Anand)

Monday, September 14, 2015

Change in Season, Change in Routine


Adapting to change requires extra energy. With the carefree days of summer coming to an end and the fall season looming before us, children getting ready to return to school, people start to buckle down to prepare for winter - all this requires changes to our routine. Too much change can lead to negative stress and poor health. Think of yourself as a rechargeable battery with so much energy to spend at any given time. When the energy is used up, we have to recharge it by taking rest which restores our batteries. Regular routines require less energy and our batteries last longer. But when we have changes in our habits, we use extra energy called "adaptive" energy. Think about the time you moved into a new house. Things you used to take for granted, for example, the location of your vacuum cleaner or where to hang certain jackets or even where the light switches are, now require thought. We've all been there. What is easy in the old house requires thinking in the new.

When we have too much adapting to do at any one time, we can feel tired and get cranky. Perhaps you have just moved, changed jobs, and you have to get the children ready to return to school. We can feel uptight, stretched like a rubber band and lose our patience with others.

What can we do when we're too stretched? Here are three simple strategies for managing our way through a change in season requiring a change in routine.

Strategy #1: make a list of action items.

1. Brainstorm - a simple and easy strategy is to take out a piece of paper and write down everything you have to do in the upcoming week. I find doing this on a Sunday while looking at the week ahead works best for me.

2. Categories - next, list these action items into categories. That's all you have to do. You don't need to put a priority to your list or allocate time required to perform your actions. Just list them under your categories. For example:
Week of: September 12

Category #1: Meetings

1. Parent/Teacher
2. Doctor's appointment
3. Interview with George

Category #2: Personal

1. cardio class - 4 x
2. spa - fall tune up special
3. girl friends over

Category #3: Household

1. Clean out storage
2. Get bedroom painted
3. Prepare for BBQ

Category #4: Calls/Emails

1. Mom
2. Gail, Sue, Sarah
3. Business contacts
4. Workshop participants

3. Review - tape this list to the bulletin board, refrigerator, or place it in your day timer. Don't worry about when you're doing these things. The list will make you conscious of the actions required. At the end of the week, review how you did. You'll be amazed!

Strategy #2: Build in rest and repair. 
When we have too many demands on our time, we are in overdrive and the body is in the sympathetic state of alert. When we stay too long in the sympathetic alert state using too much energy, we burn out. Burning out leads to diminished health and wellbeing and we start a downward spiral leading to more stress.

The best way to prevent burnout is to do the opposite. Build in some gaps between activities and move in the direction of under-drive. How can you do this? Give yourself a break; go to the spa and have health and beauty treatments. Slow down. Close your eyes and relax. Have a reflexology treatment, for example. Reflexology is a natural healing art based on the principle that there are reflexes in the hands, feet, and ears that correspond to every part, gland and organ in the body. When having a reflexology treatment, the body naturally goes into the parasympathetic state of rest and repair where tension is relaxed, circulation is increased, and the body can normalize naturally. Be sure to get your nails done after the treatment - a great way to be forced into sitting and letting the circulation benefits get registered in the nervous system.

Too many demands and pressures, too often and too long, use us up until like the stretched out rubber band, we snap. Too little activity and too little stress with too few demands on us results in a dull system and like the unused rubber band that sits in our desk drawer for years, once taken out to use, it crumbles. We want Eustress which is a Greek word meaning good stress.

We all need some tension in our lives but we want healthy tension - just enough demands and pressures on our system followed by rest and repair is the way to stay healthy. Remember that stress is accumulative which means that the more stress we have, the more stress we tend to get. The same is true with rest and repair. We repair, recharge, and regenerate more quickly when our nervous systems are rested.

Strategy #3: Acknowledge yourself.
Most of us take our gifts and strengths for granted. Because of this, we often forget to acknowledge who we are and what we do to contribute to others. As we would acknowledge others, we should also see and acknowledge ourselves because we are important too. Take a moment and just acknowledge yourself and pat yourself on the back. You're OK, you know. In fact, you're great!

As we move from one season to another, demands and changes in our routines place constraints on our time and energy. Be sure to take care of yourself along the way. If you don't take care of yourself, there is only one end in sight. Poor health. Stay well. Be conscious of the demands on your time and energy. Build in rest and repair. And acknowledge yourself!

By Danielle Gault, Health & HR Development Specialist

RCRT, BA Psych. HRM Post-Grad.

Danielle Gault, writer, trainer, and natural healer, delivers workshops, coaching and healing services in Ontario, New York, and New Zealand. She has written articles published in the Ontario Association of Psychological Type, local newspapers, and for the Reflexology Association of Canada. Danielle believes in a holistic approach to living and uses personality theory, natural healing techniques such as yoga, reflexology and insightful workshops to assist people in addressing their issues in life and striving to live consciously. Her websites are: http://www.wellness-training-services.com or contact her at dgault@cwtservices.biz

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

The secret of Success!

Socrates

A young man asked Socrates, an ancient Greek philosopher, the secret of Success. Socrates told the man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river.

When the water got up to their necks, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The man struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him underwater until he started turning blue The young man struggled hard and finally managed to get up. The first thing he did was to gasp and take a deep breath.
Socrates asked, ‘What did you want the most when you were under the water?”

The man replied: “Air”.

Socrates said: That’s the most secret to success. When you want success as badly as you want air, you will get it. There is no other secret’.

Reflection:
A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishments. Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great results...

More about Socrates:
Socrates is a famous ancient Greek philosopher. He was born in Athens in 469 BC and was killed (by poison) in 399 BC (about 71 years old) because the government didn’t agree with his teaching. Socrates is widely credited for laying the foundation for Western philosophy.

Saturday, September 05, 2015

How to Be Yourself

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.~Marcel Proust
Have you ever been in a social setting, suddenly realizing you are not being yourself? This article takes an in depth look at why we play various roles in our lives, and how to overcome these socially conditioned “masks” to be yourself.
Perhaps you’ve caught yourself saying, “I love catching up with my old school buddies, it’s so easy to be myself in their company”? Or, “Felt so miserable at that party, making polite conversation with bunch of superficial people.”
It transpires that we are often not our true selves in the company of others – subconsciously and repeatedly wearing masks that project a certain image of us to the world.
We seem to have a collection of these masks that habitually surface, intending to best serve our self-interest, based on the need of our immediate environment. These masks come in varied shapes and colors like, the aggressor, the conformist, the nice guy, the shy one, etc.
Only when we are able to bring these masks into our active awareness and deal with them, can we be ourselves and experience the freedom that brings.

Why Do We Pretend?

We acquire these masks from various experiences through life – those gained during our childhood being the most notable and lasting ones. It’s our primal instinct and desire to be loved. This is such a deep longing that right from our childhood, we are constantly adapting to our environment and building different strategies, so we can better fulfill this need.
Depending upon what seems to work, meaning specifically what helps gain our parents’ love during our early years, we subliminally begin to cement those strategies into our psyche.
Some of these become so deep rooted that as adults, we see them as an integral part of our personality – acknowledging it with comments like, “this is the way I am and it’s hard for me to be any other way”.

The Different Types of Masks

1. High Performer
As bestselling author, John Gray explains in What you feel, you can heal, this is how it works. If we were recognized for exceeding our parents’ expectations, say at school, we can grow up believing that being a high performer is the real ticket to be loved.
As a result, one may always aspire, and even go to great lengths, to exceed others’ expectations, be it one’s supervisor, peers, or spouse. Falling short of our own expectations in any way then is a source of disappointment and an opportunity to blaming ourselves. Also, with this approach, we have high expectations of others and can be very judgmental of them.
2. Conformist
If we were loved and encouraged every time we followed our parents’ directives, we can easily grow up being a conformist, believing that it would not be in our self-interest to go against the norm in any group – a family, social circle or an organization.
3. Diplomat
Similarly, we could play the diplomat, keeping our true feelings to ourselves but seeking to create a congenial atmosphere in a group; the reserved one, always hiding our true selves in the belief that we are not lovable anyways.
4. Poor Me
The poor me person believes in the notion that “only when I am in deep trouble and wronged can I attract others’ attention and love.
5. Aggressor
The aggressor is the person for whom anger and show of superiority is the way to get noticed.
6. Critic
The person who is constantly finding faults with others in order to hide their own inadequacies.
7. Bragger
The bragger, where lack of self-esteem leads to eulogizing about oneself in the hope of being loved and admired.
These masks get hard wired in our personality and show up in every aspect of our life, including at work and in our relationships.
high performer belief system may result in a workaholic or a perfectionist; a poor me mentality may constantly attract trouble – physical or emotional; a critic is never happy with the way things are in any setting and so forth.
As these patterns are accompanied by suppressing our true feelings, they create ongoing emotional baggage in our lives. There’s always then an inner sense of incompleteness, and we are unable to fully experience an emotionally satisfying life.

How to Be Yourself


“There is but one cause of failure and that is

a man’s lack of faith in his true self.”

~ William James
Despite our subconscious behavior patterns, we can free ourselves from these limiting beliefs and tendencies. This requires making a conscious choice to be true to our feelings and being honest in all our interactions.
At a deeper level, this entails connecting with our pure inner self and realizing that we are truly worthy of being loved, and are capable of fully loving others. That then provides us the courage to express our true thoughts and feelings, without the fear of being judged.

Social interaction is such a key part of human experience that social neuroscientists now believe that as many as four out of every five thoughts we have are in the context of relating to others.
Further, research by Richard Boyatzis, an Emotional Intelligence expert, highlights how fear of social rejection is one of the three most common causes of human stress. A commitment to being authentic in all our interactions can liberate us – feeling confident of being lovable allows us to not suppress our emotions, making us emotionally healthy and resilient.
As Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” It also supports us in being more open to seeking others’ help and be willing to be vulnerable, which in turn, may make us even more endearing.
Let me share a couple of quick examples from my coaching experience here. A senior executive, who wanted to work on his relationships, was described by his colleagues as the critic - very controlling, had high expectations of them, and dealt with every shortfall with harsh words.
As he consistently received negative feedback about his relationships and felt highly stressed from his work life, he was committed to make some real changes. As he became more self-aware, he started to notice the underlying beliefs for his difficult behavior – felt it was his egoistic desire to be right, perfectionist nature, and a deep desire to succeed.
As we worked together, he started to shift his expectations from seeking perfection to more wholesome progress; started to better listen to others and put their agenda before his own; became more comfortable with his true self and less judgmental of others – accepting himself as he was and others as they were; overall, becoming more authentic in his listening, sharing, and conduct. Guess, authentic leaders realize that the power lies not in being right, but in being real.
Another client of mine was always striving to be the nice guy, trying to find a suitable compromise to resolving any friction between his parents and his wife. While this served him alright in the initial years, over time, he started to appreciate that this wasn’t really working – his parents expressed always feeling short changed; his wife felt her point of view was never fully respected; the client himself felt stifled constantly searching for convenient solutions that could somehow please everyone.
Paying attention to this, somewhere he recognized the need to begin expressing his honest thoughts and feelings to all parties – this meant bringing the problems of family disconnects in the open for all to see rather than hide them. As he gathered the courage to candidly confront the problems, the family collectively decided to take on some hard decisions – resulting in the client feeling relieved, and everyone feeling comfortable with the decisions.
As is evident in these examples, this process kind of involves two steps:
  1. Knowing yourself, and then,
  2. Choosing to be yourself.
Knowing yourself revolves around building a deeper understanding of our tendencies to hide behind various masks and being willing to examine them.
As long as there is friction in our relationships and a sense of incompleteness or dissatisfaction in our hearts, we need to remain open to examining our selves and our inner belief systems.
A willingness to dive deeply into our core leads to realizing who we are and how whole, complete and perfect we all are – and that raises our ability to love ourselves as well as to stop doubting our worthiness to receive others’ love.
Being yourself then is about taking responsibility towards overcoming our habitual traits and building the capacity to express ourselves fully and honestly. This means being mindful of our choices at all times and choosing to being totally authentic without being fearful of the outcomes of our words and actions.
Being yourself eventually shifts us away from the inner emotional turmoil and towards feeling lighter, liberated and happy.
* Which masks do you catch yourself wearing? Got tips for being yourself? Share your stories and thoughts with us in the comment section.
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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Are You Financially Prepared For An Emergency?



Money is not everything, but for everything you need money. It's an established fact that money plays a vital role in present-day living. If you are financially prepared, you can easily overcome difficult situations and fix away your problems without getting frail. Life can get you into an emergency without any warning. It requires advance planning and preparation on your part to tackle these kinds of situations effectively.

Are you prepared?

Is your financial information well arranged and properly organized? Have you prepared your will? Have you told anyone about your vital financial information? In case of an evacuation, are your documents ready for the 'grab and go'? Hurricane, flood, earthquake or theft can come at any time creating an emergency situation. If you are not prepared financially, it's easy to get into a messy circumstance. On the other hand, if you have a stout monetary support, you can emerge out as a winner.

What can we do?

1. Get out of debt fast

Getting out of debt may seem to be a distant dream at a particular point of time. But, with proper planning, persistent efforts and by curtailing certain extras, you can definitely overcome your debt and avert monetary implications.

a. If you are in debt, you need to take steps to get rid of it, not any other loan for a temporary relief. You should focus on doing three things - Increase your income, recognize what got you into the debt (circumstances or your habits) and based on your assessments take steps to fix your debt.

b. Next, you need to pick a suitable help. Solutions, such as a debt rearrangement loan may work towards your favor, but it will work only when you take this option at the right time and under right circumstances.

c. When you are in a debt, you need to seriously sort out your spending habits and curb on unnecessary expenses. It may be possible that you are repaying your debt with so little progress that it will take a long-long time to repay it fully. By that time, you would have paid manifolds of the principal value. A debt settlement plan may work, but only when you know your priorities well. Failing to do so may sink you further. Thus, you need to control your state of affairs and manipulate your creditors effectively to pay off your debts in an easy manner.

2. Use credit wisely

First of all, don't finance unaffordable lifestyle with your credit cards. Keeping your purchases within your limits is the key. Often, people are lured with the innumerable products available in the market and use credit cards to purchase unreasonable things only to repent at a later stage. Credit card is a marvelous facility, but works out to be beneficial only when used with astuteness.

a. If you are already into a financial trouble, avoid using credit cards. Pertaining fees and other monetary charges can add up to your debt. However, using a credit card to tackle a financial difficulty is better than to arrange funds by keeping your house on mortgage.

b. Raise your bar; don't get hooked to the minimum payments. Paying only the minimum amount due will eventually elongate the repayment period, and by the time you repay all your dues, you would have actually paid multiple times of the amount you took on credit.

c. Don't get fooled by the low teaser temporary rates; money borrowed during promotional low-interest rates is most likely to be carried on to the higher permanent rates. Make your credit card payments on time and avoid surcharges and penalties. This will also increase your credit score.

3. Get organized

Your spouse, anyone of your adult children or someone who is entrusted to handle your finances should know where your property papers, contracts, documents and policies etc. are located. By making plans ahead of the time, you can actually ease the stress that your loved ones would face in the event of your illness or sudden demise.

This article is written by Rupa Sinha who has been writing articles on a wide range of topics. She is a highly rated writer at a number of article writing platforms.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Whoa! Priyanka Chopra’s Photos Are All Over New York Buses And Times Square!

Quantico

Before the release of Dil Dhadakne Do, I had managed to catch up with Priyanka Chopra at Mehboob Studios for a quick interview. And during that conversation, apart form DDD, she had also spoken at length about her American show, ABC’s Quantico and what drove her to do that project. The beautiful actress had opened up about being bullied for being brown during her stay abroad and how racism had really affected her. Doing international projects and making a mark on the global platform is her way of standing up against all those who stereotype Indians.

And boy, isn’t she making us darn proud by shinning globally? In fact, PeeCee is now all over New York! From Times Square billboards to the city buses – the Quantico posters featuring Piggy Chops are seen across NY. Check these out.

Priyanka Chopra in Quantico ads | Source: Twitter |

Priyanka Chopra in Quantico ads | Source: Twitter |

Priyanka Chopra in Quantico ads | Source: Twitter |

Priyanka Chopra in Quantico ads | Source: Twitter |

Friday, August 21, 2015

Impression

          It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed.With every new encounter, you are evaluated and yet another person's impression of you is formed. These first impression can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, making those first encounters extremely important, for they set the tone for all the relationships that follows.So, whether they are in your career or social life, it's important to know how to create a good first impression.

Motivate

          Do you know why any person is needed to be motivated by someone in his/her life? No... Not a problem I will tell you why people is needed to be motivated by someone and how they can be motivate without affecting any of their positive thoughts but, having lots of affect to their negative thoughts...
          For any person in this world we need to motivate him/her with simply making him positive and helping him stay focused on the positive thoughts and putting obstacles before or in front of their negative thoughts...
          One can Motivate person only if he/she is already motivated and strongly recommends positive thoughts having well mindset. Never try to tell any person that he/she can't but, always tell anyone that if I can than why don't you can...
         So, enjoy your life with making yourself positive and with also helping another person positive. Always remember the much you share your experience with others the much you will grow up and the much you feared the much stronger you will become..!!!

Attitude

                 Do you know what is attitude? Attitude is one kind of skill which is different in each person. We can also say that attitude is a physiological response to people, occurrence, society, objects and circumstances to life itself.

                     Do you know we can judge attitude of any particular person and even a person can also judge attitude of himself. It seems like we are judging a person carefully with his behavior and styles. We can also have different attitudes towards the same thing depending on whom we are dealing with, the actual context of an exchange or an event or occurrence. They can also be ambivalent, that is you feel both positive and negative attitudes towards the same thing at the same time.

                     Do you know attitude means 100% in the meaning of numbers. If you will compare the each letter of attitude with number coming of that letter and after that with adding all that numbers finally you will get the answer in terms of 100. So, having attitude to any person seems that person has 100% in him/her.

There are mainly three types in which we can define it which are as follows:
An Emotional Component: How the object, person, issue or event makes you feel.
A Cognitive Component: Your thoughts and beliefs about the subject.
A Behavioral Component: How the attitude influences your behavior.

There are some several ways in which we can define attitude as written below.

1. In social psychology, attitude is the belief, perception and judgment that reflects the classification and evaluation of persons, objects, situations, with a like or dislike label. Attitudes are inferred; they are not objectively observable, though they are manifested in conscious experience, verbal reports, overt behavior and physiological indicators.

2. Some investigators account attitudes for observed regularities in the behavior of individual persons towards persons, events presenting the same characteristics.

3. To another group of investigators, attitudes correlate with your values. For example, a person who highly values justice and the person categorize politicians as interfering with justice, the person’s attitude is taken to be negative.

4. Another definition of attitude is the underlying predisposition, as opposed to while opinions that are more overt manifestations.

5. A rarer distinction is to equate attitude with unconscious and irrational tendencies and opinions with conscious and rational activities.

6. Others still view attitudes as meaningful and central and consider opinions as more peripheral and inconsequential.

7. Another popular definition of attitude is that it is a question of taste, so it is subjective, whereas, opinions are based on facts are objective.

8. Some make critical distinctions between attitudes and a number of related terms such as values, interests, sentiments, attitudes, beliefs and opinions. These have been arranged in the degree of specificity with values being the broader tendencies and beliefs and opinions being the narrowest tendencies. Accordingly to this terminology, the difference between attitude and the related terms being one of degree rather than of kind.

9. Another suggestion is that attitudes translate beliefs that impel action, while knowledge is more intellectual and passive. 

Personality

- what is personality? -
Almost everyday we describe and assess the personalities of the people around us. Whether we realize it or not, these daily musings on how and why people behave as they do are similar to what personality psychologists do.
While our informal assessments of personality tend to focus more on individuals, personality psychologists instead use conceptions of personality that can apply to everyone. Personality research has led to the development of a number of theories that help explain how and why certain personality traits develop.
Components of Personality
So what exactly makes up a personality? As described in the definitions above, you would expect that traits and patterns of thought and emotion make up an important part. Some of the other fundamental characteristics of personality include: 
Consistency - There is generally a recognizable order and regularity to behaviors. Essentially, people act in the same ways or similar ways in a variety of situations.

Psychological and physiological - Personality is a psychological construct, but research suggests that it is also influenced by biological processes and needs.

It impacts behaviors and actions - Personality does not just influence how we move and respond in our environment; it also causes us to act in certain ways.

Multiple expressions - Personality is displayed in more than just behavior. It can also be seen in our thoughts, feelings, close relationships and other social.
Same But Different
In some ways we are all the same. We all have the same human nature. We share a common humanity. We all have human bodies and human minds, we all have human thoughts and human feelings.
Yet in other ways we are all completely different and unique. No two people are truly alike. No two people can ever have the same experience of life, the same perspective, the same mind.
Even identical twins are unique in this respect: twin number 1 will always be twin number 1 and will never know what it is actually like to be twin number 2, to experience life and see the world through number 2’s eyes.
Somewhere between these two — our common humanity and our unique individuality — lies personality.
Personality is about our different ways of being human. How we are all variations on the same themes. How the human nature we all share manifests in different styles of thinking, feeling and acting.
Talking About Personality — Four Types v. Five Factors
In ancient times it was thought that all people could be divided into just four personality types — sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. This was supposedly something to do with the dominant fluids in their bodies (blood, yellow bile, black bile or phlegm). This idea was briefly revived in Renaissance Europe and there are some modern versions of it around today.
But when you actually look into it, trying to fit all the world’s people with their amazing range of differences into so few boxes is not easy. For example, ‘sanguine’ people are supposedly extroverted, creative, sensitive, compassionate, thoughtful, tardy, forgetful and sarcastic. But in fact there is no evidence that these characteristics go together at all. You can certainly be creative without being extroverted. You can certainly be compassionate without being sarcastic. So what does ‘sanguine’ really mean, if anything?
Dividing people up into a few types may be a nice and simple way of looking at the world, but in reality it doesn’t get us very far.
An alternative approach used by modern psychologists is to look at the words we actually use to describe each other’s personalities. This is called the lexical approach.
When we describe someone’s personality, we use words which characterise whatever makes that person distinctive and perhaps even unique. This is partly because we tend to notice people’s most outstanding characteristics (as opposed to ways in which they are just average). For instance, just as we might describe someone as ‘very tall’ or ‘totally bald’ based on their physical attributes, we might also describe them as ‘very shy’ or ‘totally domineering’ based on their personality.
We also want to remember what it is that distinguishes one person from another — being very tall and totally bald is an unusual and distinctive combination, as is being very shy and totally domineering. We remember, and talk about, the things that stand out the most.
So when we look at the words most often used to describe human personality, we find that they describe the extremes rather than the averages. (Similarly, there is no word in the dictionary to describe people of average height, only people who are distinctly above or below average in height: tall v. short.) Also, these extremes can be organised into pairs of opposites — shy v. outgoing, impulsive v. cautious, dominant v. submissive, and so on.
Moreover, when you take all the personality-describing words in a dictionary and analyse how people use them, you find they can be separated into a certain number of sets or ‘clusters’. The words in one cluster all have a b-r-o-a-d-l-y similar meaning, but mean something different from the words in other clusters. And what psychologists have found again and again is that there are just five clusters. In other words, there are just five sets of words (including their opposites) which contain pretty much all of the words we might use to describe personality.
These are known as the ‘Big Five’. We could simply call them Factor 1, Factor 2 and so on, but they have been labelled as follows:
EXTROVERSION — the tendency to be outgoing, energetic and sociable
OPENNESS — the tendency to enjoy variety, novelty, challenge and intellectual stimulation
NEUROTICISM — the tendency to experience unpleasant emotions
AGREEABLENESS — the tendency to be friendly, compassionate and cooperative
CONSCIENTIOUSNESS — the tendency to show self-discipline and self-control
Each of these five factors is actually a sort of mega pair of opposites: extroversion v. introversion, openness v. closedness, neuroticism v. emotional stability, agreeableness v. hostility, conscientiousness v. spontaneity. For example, we find that there is one whole set of words which describe either aspects of extroversion (‘outgoing’, ‘energetic’) or its opposite, introversion (‘shy’, ‘withdrawn’).
It’s as if everything we have to say about personality falls under one of these headings. This is one of the most robust findings to come out of decades of research into human personality. [Ref 3]
So in contrast to the ‘types’ approach, many psychologists now understand personality as how we all vary on these five dimensions or five factors. It’s not that the world is divided into (say) sanguines and cholerics and so on. Rather, we are all variations on the same five themes, and these variations define our personality traits. We each have our own scores on the same five scales. An introvert, for example, is simply someone who scores low on the extroversion scale.

The five factors are not etched in stone, however. Many studies show that we can include a sixth factor, called Honesty/Humility (or the H factor). This is essentially a dimension of character maturity, ranging from high selfishness to high integrity.  [Ref 4]
The number of factors we “find” also depends on how strict or how loose we are with our statistics.
To get down to five factors you have to accept fairly loose connections between words. This means that, for example, we get lots of surprisingly different traits lumped together under ‘extroversion’ (such as dominant, outgoing and passionate), which is kind of reminiscent of having lots of different things attributed to the ‘sanguine’ type.
We could, however, be very strict with the numbers and look for tight clusters between words which are strongly connected. When researchers do this, they can identify 20-30 factors, or “facets”.
We can think of of the big five as a big, fuzzy “cloud” of traits, each one covering four, five or six specific traits. This seems to give a much richer description.
So … how many personality traits are there?  The answer is: how many do you want? If you want to view people in very broad brush-strokes, then the answer is five (or six). If you want a more “high resolution” picture, then you can use 20-30 or so.
Nature and Nurture
Between all these one-sided views lies the general consensus: that our personality is built on a combination of conscious (voluntary) and unconscious (involuntary) factors. To some extent our genes and environment play a role, and to some extent our free will plays a role. But probably the greatest role is played by the interaction of these two — how we learn to cope with life using the resources we’ve got.
Overall, personality is about nature interacting with nurture. Or to put it another way:
Personality = Temperament + Character
Temperament refers to our nature — our inborn characteristics, our ‘factory settings’, how we are wired. Even at birth one can see individual variations on the human theme. Some infants, for example, are naturally timid while others are naturally bold.
Character refers to our acquired (or nurtured) characteristics, our ‘custom settings’, how we have learned to deal with life since we were born. Our character is also the sum of our virtues and vices. A person of good character, for example, has high integrity; a person of bad character does not. It helps to be a good judge of character.
It has been said that temperament is something we share with other animals, while character is, perhaps, uniquely human.
A Spiritual Perspective

I have been interested in personality for as long as I can remember. What makes people tick? In what ways am I different from other people? Are we all the same under the skin? These questions have always intrigued me. This is one of the reasons why I became a psychologist.
But in additon to the psychological viewpoint, I also hold a spiritual view of personality. This view is something I want to communicate with my website.
From this perspective, personality is the vehicle through which the self (the spiritual self, the soul) operates in the world, particuarly in social interactions.
Overleaves
Overleaves
If the essence of you is like a source of pure white light, then your personality is like a set of filters overlaying the source, creating colorful patterns. In other words, your essence is pure potential and your personality represents those aspects of potential which are actually manifesting. (See Over leaves: the structure of personality.)
So in a sense, personality is a selective filtering of who we truly are. Some portions of our inner light, by which I mean much of our true being and true potential, are sharply focused into life while other portions are filtered out. And we do this for good reason.
Having a personality that emphasizes, say, one’s capacity for aggression and filters out one’s capacity for peaceful acceptance enables one to really experience the pros and cons of aggression. The same goes for all aspects of personality. They are all, from the perspective of the soul, learning tools.
So what is personality? It depends upon which perspective you take on human nature.
From my perspective, fundamentally accepting the existence of the soul and free will, the personality is the lower self while the soul is the higher self. Personality is the ‘costume’ worn by the soul as it operates in the material world in human form.
But I also think it is important to have a multi-layered view of the personality itself. There is a deep, inner part of the personality — that ‘selective filtering’ I talked about — which is the framework specially adopted by the soul for a specific human lifetime. This ‘deep’ or ‘true’ personality reflects our soul’s purposes in life.
Then there is a more superficial part of the personality which is simply all of the habits and traits instilled in us during our formative early years. This ‘false’ or ‘artificial’ personality is merely the baggage we pick up along the way. It is how our parents trained us to be, how our school friends wanted us to be, how we came to believe we ought to be.
A major turning point in life occurs (usually around 35-45) when we try to let go of these false ways of being and discover our real personality, our true character, the person we set out to be from the start. This emergence of a real self is something of which, I suspect, the majority psychologists have no inkling. But it is something I have experienced for myself very clearly, and it is, I believe, an important aspect of life.