3 Ways To Hit the Delete Button On Negativity

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! You hear them say. Be positive bro, think positive babe…it will all work out! But how do we do it…

Like you, me too, was told just the same. So much so; that being positive seemed to be the new age mantra for being successful. I was a believer. I did just that…I sat positive, I walked positive, I talked positive. I thought positive. So much so that I was sure that my blood group B+ve was no longer just a coincidence.

And it was all hunky dory at first…I was positive and I got what I wanted. Then came a turn in my life when I set my eyes upon my dream job and as a bonus even met my dream man. As I set out singing my ‘don’t worry be happy’ song…one day; two days, ten days, 20 months rolled over into 10 years. Neither did I get my dream job nor did it work out with my dream man! Sigh! More like a nightmare. Then came the hard part…the part they don’t tell you much about.

The staying positive part!

It took many more years before I reconciled with my dreams and learned to dream big again. Today; we life coaches, therapists and individuals in similar streams of work are often expected to have it all worked out, always with it, wise, together, and evolved. Am I? Yes, I am. Mostly. And that is solely because over the years I have more resources available in my tool box of different techniques which I dig into rather than drown myself into self-sabotage. Yet, do I ALWAYS have it all worked out? Do I wake up each morning skipping with joy, smiling into the sun and singing to the birds? Not exactly; I have my days too. We all do.

These then are 3 ways which can help us along this journey of keeping the mind focused and aligned with positivity.

Activate the delete button to your brain.

When you cannot stop from thinking negative.

When you’ve been faced with too many setbacks, back to back and see the glass half-empty rather than half full….say; ‘delete’ (or erase /backspace /rewind, whatever resonates with you)… and rephrase immediately. It’s time to declare a boycott. Take a stand. Start a revolution in your head by recognizing that the thought patterns you’re living with are not welcome. Stop them. Evict them. The point being that if cannot stop yourself BEFORE thinking negative. Stop yourself after.

You may be tempted to find this silly or childish. But don’t. Do it. Trust that there is unbelievable power in this recognition and in making the decision that something is no longer okay

 I repeat the word delete in my head… until I am mentally satisfied that it’s completely trashed. Carefully and positively reframe thereafter.

Catch positivity and latch onto it.

When you find it really hard to stay positive on your own.

Seek help. Seek inspiration. You may find it in reading a collection of quotes, in a song, in a book, in a blog, poem or an article, whatever motivates you. Latch onto that one thing which gives you just enough to help you hang in there for that one more day. Some may find that solace in prayer. Some in a bit of all. The brain cannot differentiate between the imaginary and the real. If you imagine positivity; it is very likely you will find the strength to bring it back in your reality.

Reach out to a real/virtual friend

When you feel you’ve hit rock bottom.

Often times all we need in order to pick ourselves back up again is empathy. Somebody who cares to hear our story, somebody who can be that shoulder to cry on; that hand you can hold; who’ll willingly lend you their spine. Reach out to that person today. Ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness but a show of strength. And for some reason if no one in your life currently fits that bill, reach out to a stranger. Someone with a fresh perspective, who doesn't know all your baggage, who will just listen without judging. Nowadays, social media has put a new dimension to friendship and support groups – find one today. The emotional support of friendship leads to better health through positive effects on both body and mind. 

A Song For The Waves

The boat swayed with the rhythm of the waves while the boatman hummed a tune as if to pacify an angry beast. The song intrigued me, the slow cadence of his voice was melancholy one moment and optimistic the next moment. It filled the air with a strange intoxication. He sang rustic folk-songs, lyrics I could not interpret but the tunes arrested my attention.
My father, politely trying to start a conversation said “What is that song Bhaiya?”

The boatman’s face broke into a broad grin, “It is the song I sing to my children asking them to be brave.”

“How many children do you have? Where do they live?” inquired my father.

A forlorn expression came over the boatman’s face while he said, “I have two children Saabji, a son of four years and a daughter of eleven years. We lived along the river bank. But now this river is my home.”

“How can the river be your home?” I interposed.

“Well my children are here and home is where family is...three years back I lost them to this river during the flood. I believe their souls rest in the river bottom. That is why I sing to them their favourite tales. You know how they say songs can travel far and long so I know my songs reach them. At night I sing them to sleep with the promise of a new morning. See the waves tugging at the boat? That is my children asking me to sing. Once I start singing they calm down.”

The poignancy of separation choked my voice. The boatman had already started singing to the waves and I pressed the record button on my phone to record the boatman’s song and his life in a single MP3 file.

Thank you all for reading this post. I am glad if you like this post. In life there should be some space for chances like anything happens about which we were not supposing and it just happens. Give some space in your life for this kind of chance. That's all about life.

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