How to Forgive

               One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who have responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst (dread or anguish), depression, self-righteousness, hatred, etc. Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts.Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. 

1.Realize that the hate you feel toward your adversary does not harm him or her in the way that you want:-"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy.

2.Understand that the best revenge against your enemies is to live a successful and happy life.:- Want to get even with someone who tried to destroy you? Show them and show yourself (and the world) that the obstacles they tried to create were not significant enough to disable you and/or destroy you.

3.Realize that the second best revenge is to turn the evil into something good, to find the proverbial silver lining in the dark cloud:- Think of your enemy as someone who has helped you to grow. Even though unfortunate things happen to us, the best thing we can do is take those opportunities as tests that will either destroy or strengthen us. If you've been through something, it didn't destroy you - take what you learned and become a better person because of it.

4.Make a list of the good things that emerged as a result of this awful experience:- You've probably focused long enough on the negative parts of this experience. Look at the problem from a completely new angle; look at the positive side. The first item on that list may be long overdue because you have focused on the negative for so long. See if you can identify 10 positive outcomes of this experience.

5.Look for the helpers:- Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) related that, as a little boy, he'd often become upset about major catastrophes in the news. His mother would tell him, "look for the helpers." In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about their kindness and selflessness Practice what you have learned from them.Was someone your "Good Samaritan"? In this biblical story, a traveler helps a poor soul who was beaten up on the road to Jericho and left for dead. Perhaps this isn't all about you. Perhaps your trial provided an opportunity for others to rise to an occasion to provide you with help and support.

6.Be compassionate with yourself:- If you've ruminated over this problem for a long time, steering this boat into a new direction could take some time, too. As you try to make a new path out of the dark woods of this old hurt, you'll make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself. Extreme emotional pain has a profound effect on the body. Give yourself time to heal - physically and emotionally. Eat well. Rest. Focus on the natural beauty in the world. Give yourself permission to feel the emotions and process them. Don't bottle up the pain.

7.Learn that the Aramaic word for "forgive" means literally to "untie." The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person's ugliness. Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party. Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison.

8.Learn how to balance trust with wisdom:- It's a fact that not all of our fellow humans are trustworthy. Painful memories can serve to protect us from future hurts. As author Rose Sweet writes, "A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another's limitations".

9.Stop telling "the story.":- How many times this week did you tell "the story" about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged? How many times a day do you think about this hurt? It is a stake driven into the ground that keeps you from moving away from this hurt. Rather, forgive your enemy because it's the kindest thing you can do for your friends and family. Negativity is depressing - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

10.Tell "the story" from the other person's perspective:- Actually imagine that you are the other person (the one who offended you) and use the word "I" when saying what that person would say. You, most likely, don't know exactly what s/he was thinking when this event unfolded but pretend that you do, and just go with the story that comes up in your head. Sit down with a friend, or maybe even the person you are trying to forgive, and tell the story as though you are that person. It is important to do this verbally and not just in your head. Realize in advance that this is not an easy exercise, but it holds great power. Your willingness to tell the story from the offender's perspective requires an effort at forgiveness. Also, realize that this is not a contradiction to the preceding paragraph since this perspective will change your story.

11.Retrain your thinking:-. When your enemy and his or her evil actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing. Wish your enemy well. Hope the best for him or her. This has two effects. One, it neutralizes that acid of hate that destroys the vessel in which it is stored. The evil we wish for another seems to have a rebound effect. The same is true for the good that we wish for another. When you make yourself able to return blessing for hatred, you'll know that you're well on the path to wholeness. 

12.Maintain perspective:- While the "evil" actions of your "enemy" are hurtful to you and your immediate surroundings, the rest of the world goes on unaware. Validate their meaning in your life, but never lose perspective that others are not involved and do not deserve anything to be taken out on them. Your enemy is someone else's beloved child, someone's employee, or a child's parent.

Two books that can significantly improve your grammar and writing skills.

Here are some books that will definitely help you improve your writing skills by leaps and bounds. The list is not only for novice but experienced writers also find it very useful.

1. The Elements of Style, by William Strunk Jr. & E.B. White. Fourth Edition

This is a must-read and must-have book on every writer’s list. You can find the best explanation of basic rules of writing ever written. No, this is not a boring grammar book; it contains very informative chapters on rules and usage of  writing in English.

Here is what you can look forward to in this book:

• Eight rules of usage
• Ten rules of composition
• List of commonly misused/misspelled words
• Beautiful explanation on sentence structure and parallelism
• And many more.

Here is an example from the section “WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS COMMONLY MISUSED”

What's the difference between 'compare to' and 'compare with' (during my early days as copy editor,  I didn't know there's a difference)

To compare to is to point out or imply resemblances, between objects regarded as essentially of different order; to compare with is mainly to point out differences, between objects regarded as essentially of the same order. Thus life has been compared to a pilgrimage, to a drama, to a battle; Congress may be compared with the British Parliament. Paris has been compared to ancient Athens; it may be compared with modern London.

This book is carefully revised and polished over several editions. If you have a passion for clear and concise writing, go buy the book.

2. On Writing Well, by William Zinsser

This book has sold more than 1.5 million copies. Willaim Zinsser is writer, editor and teacher who has written 18 books so far, mostly on writing.

“Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills and meaningless jargon,” says Zinsser.

If you want a personal writing coach, this is the book. The first part of the book deals with principles, simplicity, usage, clutter and the audience.

The second part covers how to apply the learning in the first part – structuring sentences and paragraphs.

The third part covers different forms of writing – reporting, travel writing, science writing, etc.

To summarize, this book teaches you how to write for different audiences by adapting different tone and style in the writing.

Education is the movement from darkness to light.

          Education is the light of our life. It is the key to a bright future of not only ours but also of the nation's. It gives our thinking a different appearance and helps drive away all our ignorance. It leads us to the path of the success. Knowing the significance of it without education, we realize we are somewhere incomplete.  Without education people can be easily cheated, be-fooled & deceived. Education is the movement from darkness to light.

          Many people in our country do not receive education because of poverty, lack of educational facilities or social conditioning, especially in case of girls. Adult education is very important because many elderly people feel helpless at times of need and have been dependent on others for many various small things. There is a saying that is very popular "better late than never." The aim of adult education is to see that every person in the country knows at least the three rules, reading, writing and arithmetic. Such knowledge is absolutely necessary for every person living in a democratic country. it also helps in boosting up the confidence of an individual, at the same time it opens new doors of success by increasing the job prospects. The same goes for the old age, when people need to maintain identity, health, social engagement and well being during the final stages of life. They can kill their boredom by reading newspapers and magazines, and broaden their mindsets. The world is changing.

          The entire human race consist of education. We are in a modern world. The very first 21st century, where scientists determine the course of the future . No knowledge is a waste. Learning starts from birth and does not end until death.

          If a man is educated, only an individual is educated. But if a woman is educated, the whole family is educated. This will even help to change the society as a whole.

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