Focus – How to Get It Done

                         
When ever I find myself feeling frazzled by the distractions and never-ending list of to-dos, the answer to finding peace always come back to focus. “Focus, focus, focus!” my heart would say, while my mind is off racing in a hundred different directions.
Lately, when people ask me, “How are you?” my response has been “Busy”.
It’s true. I have been busy. Yet when I reflected deeper into why I’m busy, I discovered that I am mostly busy thinking about how busy I am.
I mean, yeah, I have a lot of tasks on my plate, but when I observed myself from a place of silent presence, I discovered that a huge amount of my time and energy was spent cycling through my list of growing to-do items in my head.

The end result is that I do get some stuff done, but not nearly as much as I could, if I freed up all this extra energy used in wasted thinking. If I was focused on the task without wasting energy and being overwhelmed, I’m sure that I would have had a better time doing it.
Can you relate? Isn’t it annoying how our brains do that?
Seriously, do you know anyone who’s not busy? I don’t. Even friends of mine who are on sabbaticals–people who are not working–seem to be busy. Doing what? I don’t know. Probably like me, they too are spending a lot of time thinking about being busy. :)
If you think about it logically, there really is no end to being busy. There are always things and unimportant-yet-urgent tasks we can add to the list to keep feeding into this loop of “insanity”.
The cycle of unproductive insanity caused by the illusion of “busy” can only be broken when we consciously and deliberately decide to put an end to it.

Personal Story

I started exploring into the topics of “busy” and “focus” recently after observing that I am not getting very much done in the form of results, both in my personal life and professional life. I’ve also observed that psychologically, I’ve been carrying this heavy feeling of uneasiness, because I am overwhelmed by all that I think I should be doing.
In my personal life, I am surrounded by clutter and disorganization. We moved into this house a year ago, and many moving boxes are still unpacked—ugly boxes in our closet, office, and the garage. Our guest bedroom has an entire wall stacked with boxes containing unknown objects of more “stuff”.
In a corner, I had stacked all the unused baby things my son has grown out of. My original intent was to list them for sale on “Craig’s List” (online classifieds), but I never got around to it. So for the past 6 months, every time I walk by and see the stash, it’ll add to the anxiety of “more tasks to do that I don’t have time for”.
In my professional life, I have created so many projects for myself that I am unable to focus on any one in particular. I’m dabbling in so may things, as a result, I’m not making very much progress in any one direction. Additionally, my focus is constantly being pulled away towards other shiny opportunities in the marketplace.
To avoid the pain of “not getting things done” and feeling overwhelmed, I found myself procrastinating, and purposely scattering my attention to unimportant actions that provided instant gratification and a way to escape from the illusions of this moment.
To distract myself–in between feeling overwhelmed with to-dos and taking a little action–I would browse random blogs, refresh facebook, and check email every 7 minutes.
Afterwards, I would feel bad for having wasted so much time doing unproductive things, that I’d work extra hard, and usually late into the night. This destructive cycle caused a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety.
This continued for a few weeks, until I finally hit a breaking point. In the problem solving article, I detailed the simple tool I used to regain clarity and perspective again. Through the baby steps I’ve taken in the past two weeks, I’ve had many personal breakthroughs and victories.

Focus Victory #1: “Craig’s List Stash”

On Saturday, I woke up and decided that I was putting an end to my “Craig’s List Stash” problem. I bounced out of bed, told my husband what I was up to, asked for his support, and got to work.
While he took care of our son, I put my imaginary blinders on (so I don’t get distracted) and focused on the task. In a matter of a few hours, I took photos of everything I wanted to sell, researched pricing, and put all the listings online.
By the time Sunday was here, every major item I had listed online was sold. I placed everything else unsold in a box to be donated.
It felt so good!

Focus Victory #2: Organizing My Office

Saturday evening, after my son was asleep, my project was to tackle my office, so that I can have a clean and organized space to think and work. Since this was the room I spent the most time in, it was important for me to feel peace and ease while being in here.
Instead of treating the task like an annoying hassle (what I used to do and end up dragging my feet to do it), I treated it like a gift for myself–gift of clarity—which motivated me to want to complete it. I felt determined, and gave myself an imaginary deadline, “One hour to get this place cleaned up!” I said.
I grabbed an empty box and moved everything from my desk surface to the box. I then picked up all the toys, books, and clothing off of the floor. In a matter of 10 minutes, I had a clean office space again.

The Power of Focus

In a similar fashion to the above two personal victories, I use the same steps to complete many of the to-do items I have spent many month cluttering my mind with. Tasks such as: getting all our light fixtures replaced (Jeremy did them), organize our closet, unpack moving boxes, de-cluttering the kitchen surfaces, moving forward with professional projects, etc.
The more I practiced these simple steps, the more I realized how much easier it was to just dive into focused action, instead of letting the thought rot in my head. I felt so liberated and empowered. I was no longer sitting around, waiting for the overwhelming thoughts to go away, I was doing something about it.
I learned how easy it was to hone-in my energy and just focus on one thing. Do that one thing with all my attention, and then it’ll be done! Simple. It’s all a matter of intention, decision, and discipline to follow through.

How to Get Things Done

I’ve distilled the steps I’ve been practicing to creating results into the following three steps.

1. Decision

Determination and commitment have power, and having them means that we’re not floating around like a flake.
If you just decide (decide right now) that you will do something, you will more likely take action. If you don’t make any decision, it will likely remain as a thought floating freely in your mind and it will continue to bother you.
Just decide to do one thing today, or decide that you will complete one simple thing this week.

2. Focus

Energy will go wherever we direct it. If we direct all our attention in one direction, progress will be made—this is the power of focus! If we direct our attention in a million directions, the energy given to each direction is so diffused and weak that no one direction will receive enough energy to proceed.
Think of it in another way. We’re on a lake, we want to cross the lake, and there are an unlimited number of boats next to the lake on our side of shore. If we took 2 boats, stuck each leg in a different boat, how long do you suppose it’ll take for us to get across the lake? A long time, right?
Similarly, if we took 4 boats, stuck each one of our arms and legs in a different boat, it would be impossible to cross the lake, right? The obvious answer is that it would be most efficient and effective to pick one boat, jump in it, and keep rowing until we get to the other side of the lake.
While this analogy seems obvious, this is essentially what we do in our lives. We live our lives trying to get across the lake using 4 boats, and we wonder why we can’t get anywhere, and we get frustrated.
No amount of frustration or feeling overwhelmed will make the 4 boats go away. The only solution is to pick one boat and start paddling. This is focus. Choosing one boat is focus. Choosing more than one boat is diffused awareness, and diffused awareness will take you nowhere.
Focused attention is the only way out.

3. Do It!

Once you’ve decided to do something, and decided that you will focus, the next step is to take action. Following our boat analogy above, taking action is the paddling step. Not taking action would be like sitting in a boat, and feeling anxious that you’re still not on the other side.
Once you start paddling, and if you keep focused on paddling, you will eventually get to the other side. Once you land on the other side, you’ll realize how easy it was to cross the lake, and you’ll likely wonder what took you so long in the past to simply: decide, focus and take action.
Getting results is easier than we think.

10 Tips on How To Focus

1. Set Boundaries

Decide in advance how much time you want to dedicate to doing something.
Personally, if I don’t set boundaries, such as “I will stop working at 5pm”, I will easily work until mid-night. Setting boundaries for myself tells my brain the urgency to focus, because my time is limited. By not doing so, I will waste a lot of time.

2. Do the Most Important Thing First

Similarly, I’ve created various rules for myself to better focus. Like the rule, “I won’t check email until I’ve written 500 words today, or I won’t check facebook until I’ve completed the day’s most important task.”
This is effective, because not only am I setting boundaries, but also, prioritizing and making sure that tasks important to me always gets completed first.
Personally, if I check email or facebook first thing in the morning, it makes my brain feel scattered and unable to focus.

3. Block Out Sound

This might not be applicable to everyone. I’m pretty sensitive to sound and get easily distracted by random sounds. My solution is to block out noise, by wearing a noise-canceling headphone.

4. Remove Distractions

Clear off your desk where you work from clutter. Close browser tabs (especially the one with email). Turn off notifications. Turn off the phone. I’d even go as far as turning off the Internet for a period of time, to focus on offline work.
Commit to being distraction free for a set amount of time, during which you will only focus on one task. And once the time is up, reward yourself.

5. Create Motivation

Getting clear on your motivation to do things will greatly enhance your ability to focus and get things done. Make sure you know why you need the focus, and get clear on what will happen if you don’t focus.
Did you know that we are more motivated to avoid pain than we are to gain pleasure? So it might help to understand how painful it will be if you didn’t do something. This might be the push you need to focus and move ahead.
For example, when I was wanting to get out of the rat race, I was having a hard time to take action to create the kind of results that would allow me to quit my job. What motivated me most was visualizing an alternate reality where I was stuck in a job I hated for another 10 years.
That image truly scared me and gave me the motivation I needed to take massive action. This blog, for example, is the result of such a massive action. In my story, in less than 8 months of taking consistent focused action, I was able to quit my day job.
Alternatively, you can imagine what life will be like if you took massive action in one direction. Imagine your dream life. Visualize it. Make it real in your mind.

6. Do One Thing At A Time

Pick just one thing to focus on. At any one time, ask yourself, “What is the most important thing I can do out of my list?” Pick one and commit to yourself, “I will commit to focus on this for the next three months (or until it is done) and I will work on nothing else.”

7. Create a Focus Ritual

We are creatures of habit. The more we do something, not only does it become easier, but also our brain knows to tune into it.
Writing, for example, requires tremendous focus. So I created a ritual around getting into the focused zone when I write. My ritual goes like this: I sit down with a hot cup of chai/tea/coffee, put on my headphones, turn on “Nawang Khechog” on the iPod, open a new Word document, and BAM, I’m in the zone!
This is a ritual I’ve created for myself over years of practice. The more I repeat my ritual (in the exact order of sequence), my brain is creating and strengthening neuro pathways to facilitate this, making it easier to arrive at the desired experience.
Go ahead and create a ritual where you will be focused. Take baby steps today, and watch it become easier over time.
The new ritual I am currently working on is to wake up early and write for 30 minutes every morning. (I’m still working on the how to wake up early part. *wink*)

8. Alone Time

If you are feeling overwhelmed and mentally cluttered. The best remedy is to take time out and reflect. It is important to do this alone, so you can connect with yourself, and learn to connect with the wisdom within you.
In spending quality alone time, learning, recharging and reflecting, you will gain clarity, understanding, and focus.
If you don’t know where to start, try the problem solving technique of “12 Answers”.
I also recommend meditation—a time where you can sit in silence, and become the silent observer of your mind’s turbulences.

9. Remember to Breath

As you go about your day, ask yourself, “Am I breathing?” then take a few deep breaths before continuing. Also ask yourself “Am I relaxed?” if the answer is “not really”, then stop for a second and take a deep breath.

10. Enjoy This Moment

After have written 150 in-depth articles on how to be happy, and how to live a good life here on TSN, my advice for you (and for myself) always comes back to this:
Enjoy this moment. This moment is all that we have. It is only in this moment that Life happens. Treasure it, bless it, thank it, and live it. Live it fully … regardless of what you’re doing.

The Building Blocks of a Good Life

                                
Seeing a young child at play always makes me smile. Haven’t you looked at a young giggling face and felt joy, and maybe even a little envy? Wouldn’t it be great to recapture some of that childlike wonder and love of life again?
The truth is, the good life is closer than we think, as close as watching a child play.  But how can watching a child play show us how to live a good life?
Picture in your mind a toddler playing with blocks. They are caught up in the wonder of each block, all the different shapes and colors and sizes.
They take each one in their hand, turning it all around in wonder & joy. There are some blocks that will be their favorites, but if even a favorite one rolls under a couch they will soon let it go & keep playing with the others.

After examining the blocks they have been given, they start experimenting, stacking block upon block to make different creations. If one block doesn’t seem to fit, they just lay it down and reach for another.
When their little tower falls down, they might show a momentary grimace, but then they realize it just means they have the opportunity to build a bigger one. Once they see that all towers eventually fall over, they will knock over their creations themselves so that they can build new ones.
Finally, when it is naptime, they will take one last contented look at all they have done, and nod off to dream of taller, greater towers to come.
But what if it was different? What if the toddler, instead of playing with all the blocks before them, would only pick up the square ones? What if they became fixated on only one favorite block, gripping it so tightly they wouldn’t even build with the others? What if they wailed uncontrollably when one of their towers fell down? What if they became so fearful of a tower falling down, or losing their favorite block, that they stopped playing altogether?

Comparing Blocks to Our Life

How sad that would be. But isn’t that how we often approach life?
We are the children at play; we are all given a set of blocks of all different shapes and sizes. Some blocks we start out with have labels like beauty, strength, & intelligence. Other blocks we acquire, like reputation, wealth, & possessions. Finally, we have the building blocks of roles we play, like career, friend, spouse, & parent.
Each one of us has our own unique set of blocks in this playtime called life– but how do we play with them? Isn’t it easy to spend all our time looking at someone else’s blocks and wish we had them? To get angry when our carefully constructed tower falls down, or stay so fearful of our tower falling down that we stop building at all?
Worst of all, we can fixate so much on one block, like gaining wealth, or finding a soul mate, or being a good parent, that we forget that it’s only a block, one that just like all the others will be tucked back in the box at the end of the day.
Sometimes we even get so confused to think that we ARE the block. We can end up wrapping all our dreams & energy & self-esteem into our job or looks or relationship that we actually lose ourselves, our own identity, along the way.

Understanding Our Blocks – Road to the Good Life

We don’t have to be this way. We can learn from the little children in our midst. Take a step back, and write down a list of all your “blocks”– all the different roles you play in your life. Go ahead. Make a list. My list includes:

• My body, (middle aged, slightly overweight & out of shape)
• Intellectual (very)
• Doctor
• Friend
• Writer
• Spouse
• Father
• Geek (& hardcore Apple fan for 30 years)
• Dry humor (hard “core”– core, Apple, didn’t you get that?) ;-)
• Mentor, teacher
• ENTP (my Myers-Briggs personality type)

All of these things are parts of my life–the blocks I get to play with–but they are not me. They are not the eternal core of my soul that will keep living when this few decades of playtime is over.
I need to take delight in all these blocks that God has given me: use them; try them out in different ways; discover everything I can about them. But I don’t need to worry about them or keep too tight a grip on them, for they are all temporary.

Shifting Perspectives

Take, for instance, my building block of being intellectual. That’s a great block, one that I’m thankful for and love to play with. But when I was younger I was too focused on it– I thought it was the only block I had.
As a result, I identified too closely with it– I thought everything I was or ever would be revolved around my intellect. I even let my thoughts focus on the fear of losing my intellect through dementia.
Because I almost exclusively identified with my intellect, I found it hard to relate to anyone except intellectually– it was uncomfortable to hug, difficult to express love, difficult to form emotional bonds at all. As a boy my hero was Mr. Spock, because he didn’t have such lower, mundane, primitive things like emotions.
Fortunately, I’ve learned that though my intellect is a very useful “block” that I enjoy using it’s NOT all there is to me. I am so much more than just my intellect!
And since I’ve learned to loosen my grip on my intellect block, I’ve grown so much as a person. I’ve learned to play with some of my other “blocks” like warmth, empathy & love, and building “towers” in my life that I never would have imagined as a younger man.
Another problem we all have is that of only playing with our favorite blocks. We see the especially shiny or big blocks, the ones that we seem especially good at or that seem really important, and we devote all our time to them.
We don’t think to try out some of the smaller blocks in our box, or ones that seem a little misshapen. For example, the woman who never sings because she knows others are better than her. Or the man who doesn’t try out the management position because he thinks others are better leaders than him. In both examples, they are holding back from playing with all their blocks.
But our all-wise Father wants us to play with all our blocks, experimenting with even the ones that don’t seem to be the “best.”
An example in my own life is my running. Yes, my physical prowess block is never going to win me a marathon, but it doesn’t have to. Just completing my first half marathon at age 45 was an amazing experience, but one that would have never happened if I had only stuck with the blocks that I thought were my best.
I firmly agree that we should invest in our strengths, but to live our lives focusing on only a few blocks, and not trying out all of them, severely limits the height and breadth of the “towers” that we can build.

Playing With Your Blocks

So now, in your mind’s eye, look at all your blocks in the play box of your life. Look at all of them– big and small; important and seemingly not so important. Is there a block that you are holding too tightly, for fear of loss?
Is there one block you’re too focused on, and have wrapped your whole identity up in? Or is there one you’ve not even taken out of the box, because you don’t think it’s good enough?
May I say this to you?
Be a wide-eyed child again! Be free! Be joyful! Play!
Live your life to the full, in freedom and joy playing with all your blocks, so that at the end of your playtime in this life, you and your Father can exchange contented smiles, knowing that you built some really cool towers with your blocks, and that all is well.

Prayer For Healing

Editor’s Note I am privileged to introduce Rahi to our TSN family. Rahi was my beloved yoga teacher during my 3 months stay in India, and had guided me to bliss on many occasions. To me, she is the embodiment of grace. The following was originally an email she had sent to me, which we edited to share with you here, along with a practical meditation that anyone can do at home. With love, -Tina

An event such as this reminds us of the impermanent nature of our lives. It helps us remember that what's most important is to love each other, to be there for each other, and to treasure each moment we have that we are alive. This is the best that we can do for those who have died: we can live in such a way that they continue, beautifully, in us.~Thich Nhat Hanh
When I saw the horrific scenes of the terrible earthquake and the tsunami that have devastated Japan and its people, my first response was one of deep pain.
All that my family, friends and I could talk about, and keep seeing again and again were the ongoing pain-filled visuals that every TV channel around the world was beaming into every home.
Then came the emails, facebook postings, tweets, phone calls, etc….everyone was reaching out to every other person possible spreading the alarm and concern.
The cataclysmic events in Japan became personal because a dear student and now a fellow yoga teacher was living there. I was desperate to know that he and his family were safe.

I was anxious, restless and quite tense till I heard from him. His message was so calm, thanking me for my concern and informing me not to worry, as he and his fellow countrymen will weather this storm together as a nation.
Something about his calmness rubbed off on me and gave me a window of clarity. I went to my yoga den, sat down with a prayer for healing and started tapping on the acupressure points to calm myself and to lift me out of this downward spiral mode of thinking and feeling.
A few minutes into the tapping and I could visibly feel a change happening within me. And it is then that it occurred to me that I can sit in meditation and ‘send’ the vibrations of healing to Japan and all life forms affected by the devastation.
When I got up I felt the urge to call like-minded friends for a group meditation that evening. Six people turned up and surprisingly all were women! We sat in a circle. Each person placed their right hand—in a giving gesture (palm facing down)—onto the next person’s left hand, which by default was in the receiving gesture (palm facing up, like a bowl).
We started by inhaling freely and exhaling for 12 breaths. A deep calmness started happening within us. Then we visualized our beloved Earth in the center of the circle and focused on Japan and the Pacific region.
We visualized the pain and the enormous energy needed to bounce back to a semblance of normalcy. We started humming (“hmmm”) deeply and continuously for 21 minutes, allowing the vibrations of the heart centre to open up and radiate love, peace, compassion and healing.
When the humming stopped, the image within all of us changed to seeing the earth and Japan radiating joyful life. We held that vision in our hearts for a long time, feeling that something had been transformed. Then we ended with the beautiful Sanskrit chant of ”sarve bahvantu sukhina” which translate to “may peace, may happiness prevail”.
Every one of us in that group felt a deep, soft silence as a presence in that space…it was so compassionate, nurturing and all enveloping…as if the Divine Mother was wrapping us, Japan and the whole of Earth in Her loving arms.
The beauty is that, ever since that experience, whenever I continue to receive more information or visuals about the still occurring devastation, I no longer hook into the collective pain. Japan and the Earth seem to fall into my heart centre and I can feel a deep healing happening in me.
Why am I writing all this in such detail to you? I can give many reasons but the truth is I just feel impelled to do so.
Perhaps the learning is:

• Don’t add to the collective pain by talking and thinking of all that horror being flashed on our screens.
• Step aside, meditate and do your bit to raise the healing consciousness of humankind.

While help is pouring in from all corners of the world to rehabilitate the people of Japan, maybe, along with it, a different kind of help is needed to change the present vibrations.
Perhaps if a critical mass meditates, the energy generated can bring about positive changes that we cannot even conceive of?
Perhaps all this needs is to be communicated to as many people as possible, as quickly as possible, so that in the coming days we can continue to maintain the healing momentum.

Prayer for Healing Through Meditation

If you felt resonated with the above story, try the following prayer for healing meditation—either as a group or as an individual in the comforts of your home.

1. Group Prayer for Healing Meditation

If you are gathered in a group of 3 or more people, sit in a circle. If you are a couple, sit across from each other. Make the ambience as soothing as possible. Optionally, you can light candles, or play soft calming music (example, sound of water flowing).

1. Open your left hand, palm facing up. Place your left hand on your left knee comfortably.
2. Take your right hand, palm facing down, place it, gently, on top of your neighbor’s left hand (the neighbor on your right side).
3. Sit comfortably and focus on being relaxed. Close your eyes.
4. Connect everyone’s breathing pattern so that they sync with the same patterns of inhale and exhale. Slowly go into deep breathing with the exhale being longer than inhale. Perhaps do this for 12 breaths so that all of you are in sync with one another.
5. Visualize the earth in the center of this healing circle.
6. As you inhale, feel you are taking in Cosmic energy. As you exhale, direct this energy to the earth and specifically to Japan. See the healing happening to the people and all other life forms affected by the earthquake and tsunami.
7. If you can, hold this visualization for 21 minutes. If not, do it for the maximum time available and comfortable to the group.
8. Place your palms together in front of your heart center in a prayer gesture (Anjali Mudra). Either say a prayer for healing that all of you know, or silently pray for deep peace and quick recovery to the Earth and to Japan.
9. Give gratitude to Existence for giving you this great opportunity to be of service.

If you want, make a commitment to do this on a daily basis, as a group or on your own for the next 21 days (or how ever many days you want).

2. Individual Prayer for Healing Meditation

As an individual, you can create a space of love and healing through your own meditation. Similar to the group meditation, create a soothing and comfortable ambience where you can sit. Dim the light, and optionally, light a few candles.

1. Sit quietly in a place that is calming.
2. Relax both your hands. Place them naturally in whichever gesture that feels comfortable to you. For example, you can have both palms facing up, or place one hand on top of the other.
3. Inhale and exhale deeply. Placing your entire focus on your breath.
4. When you feel relaxed, take your awareness into the heart center (in the middle of your chest, next to your heart).
5. As you inhale, visualize the cosmic energy and healing light entering your heart center. Feel your heart center opening up.
6. As you exhale, direct the healing energy—light, love, compassion, and strength—to the earth, to Japan, to the Pacific region.
7. Visualize yourself sitting in a circle among other healers doing the same thing. All of you sitting together in a ring, encircling the earth and sending healing to the planet.
8. Hold this visualization for as long as you are comfortable. If you have a hard time visualizing, you can say the words and allow the meditation to happen.
9. Finish the meditation by bringing your palms together in a prayer position, giving gratitude to Existence for choosing you to be a conduit in its service.

If you found the above meditation to be comforting and relaxing, make it a daily practice for the next 21 days (or how ever many days you would like).
The above prayer for healing meditation is not limited to the current Japan devastation. It can also be adopted to help heal other inner emotional pains you may want to alleviate.