Living In The Moment

I never understood why some people would work late into the night and sleep most of their mornings away, but now that I am sitting here, at 1am, listening to the same song on repeat, I get it.
When the rest of the world is asleep, there are very few distractions. There are no phone calls and no urgent tasks that need to be done at this time of the morning. I can completely focus myself on my work and let my creativity glow.
You may have read The Power of Now, or studied the Sedona method. Both these resources focus on teaching you how to get your mind in the present to forget about your worries and to really live in the moment.
The thing is, if you hear these “Living in the moment” thoughts from others, you’ll likely agree with their teachings, however, it’s hard to fully grasp the truth behind them, and to put them into practice in your own life.

Explore: Living in the Moment

Recall the times when you felt most alive?
I bet it was when you were with friends or family, maybe on top of the Eiffel Tower, maybe playing a game or a sport, maybe when racing your car or dancing the night away.
I bet it was when your entire being, body and soul were totally immersed in the moment and in the experience. I bet you had zero thoughts focused on worrying about the future or regretting the past.
I am asking you to recall the moments in your life when you felt ecstatically alive, because I believe that you can choose to live this way, most of the time.
You can choose to be completely present-minded, enjoying every moment of right now, second after second, minute after minute. You can’t feel alive in the past and you can’t feel alive in the future. You can only feel alive right now, in this moment.
Why would you want to spend every day worrying about the things that can go wrong? Why would you want to spend every day regretting the past? The sun could burn out, wars could start, you could get robbed or shot, you could lose your job, important relationships could come to an end. Any of these things could happen in the next 5 minutes, but they could also happen in 10 years, or even after your lifetime.
The past will never, ever change. What’s done is done, no matter how hard you wish or how much you think about it. Live and learn, life is a journey and the journey is the destination.
But this moment right now…it’s priceless. Every single moment of right now is a gift. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring. It may bring happiness and joy, and it may bring bad news.
This doesn’t mean that I am suggesting that you just forget about everything, and live in the moment. We are all unique individuals. What may work for me may not work for you. We all have our path for living happily.
For me, I make plans for the future. I like to think of scenarios that could occur, and I like to have targets to work towards. I like to think back to the past sometimes, and although there are things that I’m not completely happy with, I don’t regret anything. I am the sum of all my experiences, both good and bad. If anything in my past would be different, I would not be who I am today.
I’m scared sometimes. I fear that I won’t be able to build a successful business and that I will not make money. Sometimes I doubt my own abilities, and I wonder if I’m good enough for the world. These are the thoughts that surface when I get in my head too much, and I let that negative social conditioning take control.
My desire to live and to succeed is far greater than my fear of failure. The past is over, and all we can do is learn from them.
The future is uncertain, and it is coming, whether we worry about them or not.
Right now, I’m focused on writing this post and on nothing else. I feel really alive, aware of all my senses and everything around me. I feel connected to the world. And I feel like this is the best way to live, to be, and to experience.
Tomorrow is coming whether I sleep, eat, party or work. It’s a matter of hours and minutes. I could worry about what it will bring, or what could go wrong. But instead, I choose to enjoy being alive right now, to live in this moment, and to trust in myself that I will be able to handle whatever is coming.
Some may see this as fatalistic thinking. Maybe it is, but does that make it right or wrong? I once heard a saying, “There is no right and wrong, only actions and consequences.”
All I know is that constantly worrying about the future and what could go wrong creates massive stress and unhappiness. Not only that, but it also focuses your thoughts and entire being on the negative. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not, I really think that you attract what you focus on. You are what you think…

Find Your Dream Career

When I graduated from fashion school last spring, I, like many other new graduates and job seekers, felt ready to take on the world. I had devoted 4 years to studying the thing that I had hoped would lead to a bright, shining career in the fashion industry, a dream I had held since I was 7 years old.
It didn’t happen like that. After graduation, I applied to over 20 jobs – in the first few months, the only reply I ever got was from a start-up company who insisted that their employees be Japanese and sold t-shirts with crude drawings on them.
Needless to say, my job search didn’t go too well. After a while, there was one position that I applied to when I had just started to give up that seemed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. I fought for the position, and almost got it.
It was a very unhappy and stressful time for me. At the time, I was being overworked at my full-time job in the wedding industry, however, I wanted very much to get my feet wet in fashion – my passion.

The irony was that the reason why I didn’t get that job was because the company felt that I wouldn’t have enough time based on my existing job in the wedding industry.
I admitted defeat, but began to think of the possible reasons why I was experiencing such bad luck – I started to doubt my skills as a designer, my cover letter writing abilities, I thought of applying to grad school, I even blamed my hopeless job search on my name.
It’s now been almost a year since I graduated, and what my life looks like today is a completely different story. I am happy, focused, and productive every single day, doing what I love.
But the thing is, I’m in exactly the same position I was in a few months ago: I still have the same job and have not managed to get a position in the fashion industry. Why? I stopped trying.
This isn’t a piece about giving up, which is not something I condone. In fact, it is more about persistence than anything else. You see, since I was a child, aside from my dream of being a fashion designer, I also wanted to be independent: my biggest goal was always to be my own boss.
And now, through clarity and insight, I am happy to say that I’ve found creative ways to pursue my passions in ways that are more meaningful to me.

Personal Insights

Following are some of my thoughts and insights on creativity, clarity and happiness from my lens as a recent graduate trying to cultivate a creative and meaningful career doing something I love.

Creativity

While it is obvious that people in my field of work need to be creative, creativity isn’t just about being a great artist or designer. It’s about finding solutions and solving problems.
During the time that I couldn’t find a job, I was focusing so much on the strife that it was bringing me, instead of focusing on what I could actively do to “turn my luck around“.
In today’s world, anything is possible with a bit of creativity and hard work. I realized that if I wanted something and no one was giving it to me, that I needed to find ways to get it myself.
Since graduation, I’ve also opened up my mind about what a career in the fashion industry could look like, and the avenues through which to achieve them. I’m no longer focused on becoming the world’s greatest fashion designer; instead, I choose to take advantage of what I am good at and what brings me joy doing in order to carve my own unique career.
I think we are all capable of going after our dreams, but that does require a little bit of thinking outside the box on our own part – nobody is going to hand us a cookie-cutter dream job.

Clarity

My mind has never felt clearer and focused, now that it’s been stripped of expectations. Originally, I thought of my day job as something that drained my energy and was the barrier to my career I really wanted – now, I see it as the enabler to my success. Like it or not, freedom requires financial security. Once I let go of the idea that I was trapped, I saw every aspect of my life as an important ingredient in the eventual success of my vision.
Nothing is holding us back – we manifest our lives through what we do. Knowing how each act consciously contributes to our vision is key, and the power in knowing this is freeing.
Creativity means nothing if we don’t have the clarity to know what it is we are going after, and how we are going to get there. After that last interview was over, I took stock of what I had to offer and what my best skills were, and then decided with laser-sharp focus what I really wanted to do and how I was going to get there, one step at a time.
As my design teacher liked to say, “KISS” – Keep it simple, stupid. Understanding and figuring out what we want to do with our lives is deceptively simple (I simply went back to my childhood craving of independence and love of fashion and writing), as are the steps towards our dreams – you just have to focus in on what they are, and cut out all extraneous things that sidetrack you from your true vision.

Happiness

In the end, it all boils down to happiness. I wasn’t happy at that point. I felt trapped. What I really wanted was freedom, not a job. And the act of job searching was not only draining and unfulfilling, but it got in the way of my grand plan for happiness.
Why are we conditioned to view the working life as the precedent to retirement? I no longer think that way. I am reaching for happiness and fulfillment today, every day. Had I found a job, I may be toiling my days designing clothes for a company whose philosophy doesn’t match mine, or worse, I may be left working 12 hour days as a design assistant, doing nothing more than measuring samples all day.
What I do after I get home from my day job brings me so much joy that I would do it for free – of course, my aim is that I will be able to make a living out of it.
Through joy, creativity and clarity, I know that my true dreams are possible – all I need now is persistence.

Living Without Regret

Photo by aeschleah
If someone who was important to you died abruptly, would you say to yourself, “I wish I would have . . .”? If something were to happen to you suddenly, wouldn’t you want those you care about to have known how much you appreciated them?
If your answer to these questions is yes, then expressing your deep gratitude to those who have made a significant impact on your life should not be put off any longer. There are several good reasons to start expressing your appreciation to these people now.

• The sooner you tell them how you feel, the longer they will be able have to take pleasure in the message. Why wait until they’re old or dying? If they do die, there’s no chance at all that they will ever fully appreciate your level of gratitude.
• You could miss the opportunity of having the pleasure of giving this gift of extraordinary gratitude to someone who has made a real difference in your life.
• They’ll probably be inspired to help others; in fact, the ripples may very well be felt far and wide, and all because you made these individuals aware of how important they are to you.

I recently took my own gratitude journey and reached out to 44 people who had made the most significant impact on my life. I wanted to deliver my gratitude while I still had the energy and before it was too late and the opportunity was lost. I didn’t want to wait until any of our lives were compromised by ill health or imminent death. So I figured that I should tell these people how much they mattered to me long—hopefully, very long—before that happened and I was left with regrets.

My journey was so gratifying and significant to me and the people who I was able to share my profound expressions of gratitude I began sharing my story with others. I was asked to speak to a couple of the graduate business school classes of one of “my 44,” Dr. Harold Lazarus at Hofstra University.
The audience consisted of young adults, who had full time jobs in addition to their full time evening graduate business school program. By most accounts they might not have related to the importance of gratitude and I was not sure how my message would be received. I could not have been more impressed or more pleased.
Here is one of the many emails I received from the students who shared what the experience of expressing gratitude was like.

Your talk was so thought provoking and I left the class so emotional, but I would say in a good way. As my first person to express profound gratitude to I chose my dad.
He’s someone I really admire and has taught me so many things in life. My dad is such a hard worker – he actually was still at work when I got back to my house after class so I had some time to think about how I was going to approach this assignment. That might have been the hardest part – trying to figure out how to start. It might sound strange, but I was thinking of holding off on talking to my dad for a day. I just didn’t know how to start the conversation, but I was so moved after class tonight that I really wanted to tell him right away what an impact he has made on my life.
As I started to talk to him about what was discussed in class today, I started to cry. We talked briefly today about losing someone you love and I couldn’t imagine life without my dad…and that just stuck in my mind as I started to talk to him. Without hesitation, he gave me a hug and said “you don’t have to say anything, you know I love you.” But I wanted to say what I wrote today in class and after I did he gave me an even bigger hug and said “if I died tonight, I would die so happy. I love you.” It is kind of a morbid thing to say, however after I thought about it I realized that just talking to him for a few minutes made his night (and I guess even his life) happy.
I’m so glad I did it. You’re right – it only took a few minutes to complete but seems to have made a lifetime impact on both myself and my dad. I tell him all the time that I love him, but it felt great to tell him why and I can tell it made him feel good too.
Thank you!
Christina C.

How would you have felt if you were Christina and you did not have this conversation with a parent, sibling, or spouse before it was too late? Imagine how it can affect the rest of your life, like it would Christina’s and her father’s from that day forward.
One expression of gratitude with one person can be the stepping stone for you to express your deep gratitude to those that are really important to you.
You have likely read about the importance of gratitude: the pleasure, the peace of mind, and the deepening of relationships that can be gained from doing so. Although sometimes these positive benefits aren’t a strong enough motivator for action and unfortunately it takes the pain of regret to make us change our habits.
When I recounted my yearlong journey of gratitude in my book, This is the Moment, it was for the purpose of capturing the opportunity to express uncommon gratitude before it’s too late. I didn’t share my journey because I felt anyone should try to replicate it; rather, I wanted to provide the inspiration to create your own path that makes sense for you and the people you want to honor. I strongly encourage you to express gratitude to at least one person and then decide for yourself if you wish to do more.
If you are uncertain and hesitant about how to start your own gratitude journey, please go to my website, and download a free guide that will help you (enter name and email at bottom of page to receive it). If you have already begun to express profound gratitude I encourage you to share your story with our gratitude community.
~ ~ ~
Want a copy of this book? We’re currently giving away two copies on facebook. Leave a comment on TSN facebook page here before January 20, 2011 at 21:59 PST to enter in the draw. If you’re not already a fan of our page, please click on the ‘Like’ button before you can comment. Quick & easy. That’s how we roll! :) Good Luck!

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on Twitter.Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!