The Most Important Skill for Career Success:-Self Awareness

By a successful CEO...!!!

Self-awareness is defined as “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives and desires.” 

In a business context, this sounds rather soft – something relevant if your professional aspirations are to be a psychologist or HR professional, but certainly not as critical as the “hard stuff” like experience, skills or credentials after your name. Right? 

Wrong! 

In my four decades of experience as a leader and entrepreneur in diverse industries from entertainment to sports to new media to education, in the hierarchy of factors most important to career success, I would rank self-awareness as #1.   

I wish I knew this at age 22…

Why?

Because regardless of your profession or industry, your career success rides on your ability to lead, manage, and get along with your colleagues. Executing this requires exceptional interpersonal skills, the foundation of which is very personal – YOU!  Self-awareness is the essential building block to develop this critical competency.

For example, can you objectively answer the few key self-awareness questions below – and as importantly, have your colleagues, managers and team members respond to these same questions about you in a way that matches your responses?

• What are your strengths?
• What are your weaknesses?
• What triggers stress you, and how do you cope with these stresses?
• How do you manage conflict?
• What inspires you?
• What derails you?
• How do you respond to authority?
• How do you deal with criticism?
• What is your communication style?

Next, does your awareness extend to the “selves” you work with, manage or lead?  Can you objectively answer these same key questions about them?  Your success in accurately answering these questions and adjusting your communication style accordingly is critical to maximizing the potential of your teams, reducing conflict, and ultimately driving organizational effectiveness and competitive advantage. 

Achieving self-awareness is challenging and a lifelong effort. The earlier you start to work on yourself, the more self-aware you’ll become, and the more likely “the powers that be” will recognize your leadership potential and accelerate your career journey. Fortunately, there are survey tools, like The Birkman Method, which is what we use at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management in one of the courses that I teach to help our MBA students gain behavioral insights about themselves and of others. Whether it’s offered at your school or at your job or if there’s a workshop where you live, take advantage of these assessment tools!

It’s never too late to work on yourself. We’re all continuous works in progress.  In fact, the doors to my own self-awareness opened for me later in life. However, once I crossed the threshold to self-awareness there was no going back — despite how painful my new insights about myself often were. The rewards far outweighed the pitfalls.

In fact, recently the self-awareness that I personally gained from taking the Birkman assessment along with our students was enormously helpful in my recognizing and changing old behaviors that could have derailed an opportunity.  

As an executive and entrepreneur, I’ve purchased, acquired, built, and operated many sports teams and stadiums and across the country – not to mention theaters —  and I felt confident I knew exactly how to execute these initiatives.  When I was presented with my latest opportunity to acquire and operate the new Major League Soccer team in Los Angeles (LAFC), I immediately went head strong, pedal to the metal, full throttle into action, seeking to control everyone and everything in the process — an old behavior. 

Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!

Using my Birkman profile as my emotional navigational compass, I put a stop to my impulsiveness, recognizing that my “stresses” demonstrated an over-reliance on precedent and excessive attention to detail. That self-awareness allowed me to reshape my communication and behavioral styles. I surrendered command and control and became far more open and inclusive to a dialog with the President and other key stakeholders charged with the responsibility of finding the stadium location, selecting the architect, and building the infrastructure necessary to design and run a professional sports franchise.

The result was a more efficient, collaborative, successful, and even joyous, journey to a win-win resolution with relationships far more likely to endure and open doors to future opportunities to score goals together!

Thank you sharing your precious time for reading this article. Share this article with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+. Also comment and share your experience with us. Thank you!

Live the Life of Your Dreams ......!!!!!!

“With realization of one’s own potential & self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” ~Dalai Lama

There’s a lot that goes into overcoming those fears. You may need to  challenge limiting beliefs formed years ago, or take yourself out of a situation where other people undermine your abilities. One thing that will definitely help is working on your confidence.

Not sure if confidence can be learned? I asked  this question  on the  Tiny Buddha Facebook page to see what readers had to say and then used some of their responses to shape the steps outlined below:

1. Tap into the confidence you were born with.

I feel it’s something that is always there, something you’re born with that gets lost along the way, or stolen by others. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it again. ~Amy Lee Tempest

You didn’t come out of the womb unsure of your cry or insecure about your large umbilical cord. You came out blissfully unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own experience and needs. I’m not suggesting that you should be oblivious to other people. It’s just that it may help to remember confidence was your original nature before time started chiseling away at it.

Once you developed a sense of self-awareness, you started forming doubts and insecurities about how other people saw you. You learned to crave praise and avoid criticism, and maybe you started getting down on yourself if you got more of the latter than the former.

When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.

2. Know your strengths and weaknesses.

As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and also learn your weaknesses. ~Angela Birt

Learning who you are doesn't happen overnight. For one thing, it can be hard to know which parts of you are you, and which parts are who you think  you should be.

A good start is to identify your strengths and weaknesses and then weigh those against what you enjoy. (If you’re great in sales, but you actually can’t stand sales jobs, then it doesn't really matter if you have confidence there. Unless it’s all about ego—but does that really make you happy?)

It might help to list five things you do well that you enjoy and five things you’d like to do well. Make an effort to utilize some of the first list and work on some of the second every day. As you use your strengths and improve where there’s room to grow, you’ll develop both confidence and fulfillment simultaneously.

3. Expect success.

Confidence comes from success…But confidence also combines another quality because you can be successful, yet lack confidence. It requires a mental attitude shift to an expectation of success. And this alone, can bring about more success, reinforcing the confidence. It spirals from there. ~Jason Hihn

It might seem strange to say expect success since you can’t predict the future, but don’t we do the alternative all the time? Have you ever gone into a stressful situation assuming the worst—that something would go wrong?

Conventional wisdom suggests it’s smart to expect the worst because you won’t be disappointed if you fail and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you succeed. But  research suggests this isn't universally true. Pessimism can undermine your performance creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Find the successes in every day and you’ll notice over time that they increase.

4. Trust your capabilities.

Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. ~Donn King

No one in the world knows everything. Everyone is good at some things and not so good at others. Don’t weigh your security against what you know or can do; weigh it against your willingness and capacity to learn.

If someone criticizes you, take it is an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than you, see it as an opportunity to learn from them. If you fall short at something, realize you can get closer next time. Don’t worry if you’re not confident in what you can do now—be confident in your potential.

5. Embrace the unknown.

Confidence comes from a space of humility. It is spawned when we dare to see the world through an alternate lens. It grows when we have the courage to embrace the experience of the unknown and the unknowable. ~Hana Lee

People often think confidence means knowing you can create the outcome you desire. To some extent it does, but this idea isn’t universally true for anyone. No matter how talented, smart, or capable you are, you cannot predict or control everything that happens in your life.

Even confident people lose jobs, relationships, and sometimes, their health.

Confidence comes from knowing your competence but acknowledging it’s not solely responsible for creating your world. When you take that weight off your shoulders and realize that sometimes the twists and turns have nothing to do with what you did or should have done, it’s easier to feel confident in what you bring to the table.

6. Take risks.

Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes afterwards. ~Christopher Kaminski

If you always do things as you've always done them of course you won’t feel confident.

7. Learn to receive praise.

Confidence is earned through positive recognition and reinforcement. ~Don La Franchi

It’s amazing how easy it is to believe all the negative things people say and yet discredit the positive. Taking a compliment is an art. Sometimes, it’s instinctive to assume they’re just being nice or that maybe you aren’t really skilled—you just got lucky.

Occasionally, this may be true, but for the most part you earn the praise you receive. Don’t talk yourself out of believing it. Instead, recycle it into confidence. You did a fantastic job on your project at work; that means you can do it again. You had an amazing performance; that means you can trust you’re talented.

Other people want you to succeed. Now you just have to believe them when they show you you’re worthy.

8. Practice confidence.

It can be practiced—and with that practice you will get better. ~Jacqueline Wolven

Like anything else in life, your confidence will improve with practice. A great opportunity to do this is when you meet new people. Just like if you were the new kid in school, they have no idea who you are—meaning you have an opportunity to show them.

As you shake their hand, introduce yourself, and listen to them speak, watch your internal monologue. If you start doubting yourself in your head, replace your thoughts with more confident ones. Ask yourself what a confident person would do and then try to emulate that.

Watch your posture and your tone. Hunching and mumbling will make you feel and look less confident, so stand up and speak slowly and clearly.

People are more apt to see you how you want to be seen if they suspect you see yourself that way.

You may have confidence in some areas and not in others; that’s how it works for most of us. Draw from those areas where you’re self assured.

Above all, remember you are capable and worthy—just as much as anyone else, regardless of what you’ve achieved, regardless of what mistakes you've made. Knowing that intellectually is the first step to believing it in your heart. Believing it is the key to living it. And living it is the key to reaching your potential. :)